My opportunity came when my mom approached me holding a Styrofoam plate of mutton curry and potatotes. You look like you're enjoying yourself, I wanted to retort dryly, but she didn't give me a chance. "Adrianne, go up and check on your sister."
                          
Man, I couldn't be happier to walk up two flights of stairs with cramped up legs from running around during the picnic two days ago. I hid the urge to hop, skip and jump for joy as I nodded and took the walk up to the hall.
                          
My heart beat faster and faster, from a regular beat to uncountable, far too many per minute. With each step, the thought of running back down and lying to my mom that my sister was fine increased, as did the thought of running up the steps into Xavier's hopefully open arms. It was conflicting, but soon I was in the corridor of the dorms.
                          
Where he was.
                          
My heart just...stopped functioning. Along with my lungs. My tongue decided to take French leave as well and say goodbye. I couldn't walk or talk, I just stood there staring at him in what I hoped wasn't a freaky gawk.
                          
Dressed in an orange tshirt and board shorts, he was the very definition of practical. But then again, that had always been Xavier. As my lungs returned, I took the opportunity to suck in a deep breath before they decided to ciao again and forced my legs to work.
                          
Coincidentally, he was standing at the very room my sister was in, who was jumping up and down like a lunatic and laughing like she was five. Instantly, my hand went to his back, hopefully in something he found comfortable, and called my sister. Her friends waved at me, and I waved back, but I was more conscious of the fact that Xavier and his familiar warmth had moved away without a second glance.
                          
The pain in my chest increased, but I ignored it enough to ask my sister about the letter, which she claimed to have given to him. I nodded slowly,  telling her to enjoy herself but not to scream her sorry lungs out, before turning around and coming face to face with him.
                          
I swear, everything around me just disappeared into oblivion. It was just him and me, just steps away from each other, close enough to reach out fully and brush our fingertips together, locked in a staring gaze that forced butterflies in my stomach and my heart to squeeze uncomfortably.
                          
Breathing heavily, I made my feet - suddenly turned to stone - to move towards him. He fixed me with a cold, stony stare that was so unlike him it hurt, knowing it was me he was looking at that way and not someone he hated with his guts. When I reached him, my fingers twitched, aching to hug him and choke him and hold him tight, but he didn't react, even as I stopped dead in front of him.
                          
Few seconds passed before I was able to get understandable words out. "I'm sorry," I choked out finally, looking at his face but not those gorgeous, drowning brown eyes. "I'm so sorry."
                          
Here would've been my cue to hug him, but something pulled me back hard. However, as I repeated my much meant apology, his eyes softened visibly and a murmured, "It's okay," slipped from his lips as he dropped the mattress he was carrying - much to the shock and displeasure of his friend holding the other end who choked with effort as the full weight landed of the heavy mattress landed on him - to curl me into his arms.
                          
I practically dissolved into that comforting embrace. He made me feel like I belong with him, in his arms, far too much that I should. My lips brushed his cheek lightly without hesitating, and I pulled back from him slightly to look at him. He kissed my forehead again, this time leaving it lingering and soft, and it hit me for the first time that his lips were so, so soft, and I wondered exactly what it would feel like on my lips.
                          
As he let go and curled his own fingers into mine so carefully, like I would break, I decided that I didn't want to dismiss that thought anymore. It felt like...like heaven, even though it was far from it. He stalled for time - to be with me, I thought with hope blooming in me, especially where my heart was - as he went from room to room checking to see that everything was in order for the camp.
                          
I regretted looking at my watch. My mom would be wondering where I was, and why I was taking so long, and what exactly I was doing with extreme prejudice thanks to Dominic fucking Wood. Sighing dejectedly, I stole a glance up at Xavier, who was the only person who could read me down to the last crease in my skin.
                          
The hardest thing I've ever done of that day was let go of his hand and walk away, with only one last tight hug around his neck, unable to move my lips for one more apology or, what my heart desperately wanted me to say: I love you.
                          
My entirely fake happy face became plastered on my face as I reached my patiently waiting mother and delivered the news that my sister was perfectly fine and would arrive home tomorrow without her voice. Nat stared at me with an unreadable expression, having known I'd been up there with Xavier, her ex-boyfriend and now my lover, but she greeted me the same way she always did anyway, even going so far to ask if I was okay.
                          
I decided the best thing to do was to lie and say I was fine, but his delicate kiss still lingered on my forehead. Dom had never made me feel this way, and now I seriously doubt he ever will. Besides that thought, the only other thing on my mind that involved Dom was how painful and how hard it was to say goodbye to him and watch him leave school after his graduation.
                          
And how it was nothing compared to how I felt now, after pulling out all the stops and using every single ounce of strength and will I had to let go of Xavier's hand and say goodbye, even if it was just for the day.
                          
Merry Christmas here too! :)
                          
 Chrissy Costanza as Nat --->