An Afternoon In Arkham

                                    

                                          


                          
The Joker was in the lunch line. God the everyday lunchtime of a room full of people who are simply using up the oxygen.
                          
He shuffled forwards, his face showing no emotion whatsoever. A constant poker face. This made everyone more nervous to be around him, he could be thinking anything, maybe even thinking of a plan, who knows.
                          
But today he was simply having the cogs in his brain work a little harder requiring his concentration. When he got his 'Lunch' he scanned the room, ah. Poison Ivy and The Riddler aka; Pam and Eddy.
                          
"Do you two only sit together for your obsession of the color green?" Joker mocked as he sat opposite them.
                          
Ivy narrowed her eyes "Actually we were discussing the uses of plants being able to grow in sub-zero temperatures with the additive of certain chemicals."
                          
Joker laughed and rolled his head back "How thrilling, plants? Seriously? PLANTS? Really become slightly more interesting" He sighed feeling bored
                          
"How is your little greenhouse going Pammy?"
                          
"Not well. There not letting me order ANY of the correct fertilizers or growing substances to make the most of them." She looked down in disgust at her dinner.
                          
"That's because Ivy dear,the items you want to order could make mustard gas if mixed correctly." Edward commented picking at his lunch.
                          
The Joker grinned widely "Oooh Pammy being naughty! Someone should give her a time out."
                          
Ivy slammed her fist on the table "Enough Joker! I'm so sick of you and you've been here less than 5 seconds."
                          
The Joker leaned across the table until they were nose to nose.
                          
She stared right back as he whispered
                          
"Why so serious?"
                          
Then sat back and laughed, his famous laugh. A tear fell from his eye down his bone white skin. He wiped it away with a finger
                          
"Really you're too much Pam."
                          
"You're insane Joker" Ivy stared at him. Joker tilted his head slightly "Really? I thought I was a Pisces!"
                          
He always sounded so matter-of-fact about everything.
                          
Edward looked at Joker carefully
                          
"Want to take a picture Eddy?" Joker wasn't even looking in his direction.
                          
Edward slowly spoke "Well... It's just someone I've been wondering...'"
                          
"People wonder a lot of things, narrow it down Riddy."
                          
Edward looked nervous "It's about your sessions..."
                          
Joker turned at this "My sessions?" His forehead furrowed in questions. "Spit it out Nigma" Ivy pushed.
                          
"How are things going with that ? I've seen her walk around the grounds. Occasionally I see her smoke or talk to herself-"
                          
Joker cut in "So eddy, where did you dig around to find out I have Doc Quinn?"
                          
A look of Panic flashed across the Riddlers face "I saw the young Doctor and wondered about her so...yes I did a little 'digging' but about her mostly."
                          
Joker laughed, a mocking one "AWWWWWW. Eddy has a crush! On no less than the blonde shrink!"
                          
Edward went red, his head was down and gave a small cough.
                          
"So, what did you find out about our little quinny?" Joker was looking at Ed for information. Even Ivy seemed interested.
                          
Edward cleared his throat and sat up straight. "From her school records-"
                          
"School Records?" Ivy butt in "How did you get hold of them?"
                          
Riddler gave her a look of obviousness "I'm the Riddler. Access to a computer and a School password is the least I'm capable of."
                          
Joker rolled his eyes "Yeah yeah, quit bragging. What did our teenage blondie get up to?"
                          
Edward raised his eyebrows 'Well she seemed to have a lot of home trouble and had to regularly meet with a counselor. It's quite strong stuff, most of her conversation's were secretly recorded for reference."
                          
"Tut Tut" The Joker closed his eyes for a second. "Naughty Schools sticking there nose in on her mentality."
                          
"Yes..." Nigma seemed confused "Anyway, I think her Father ran away with her babysitter it seems. She started self-harming and her Mother became an alcoholic."
                          
Ivy's face was emotionless, The Joker was quiet for at least 3 minutes.
                          
Suddenly he started giggling, Ivy and Edward looked at him with complete confusion however they both knew this type of thing was hilarious to him, the harming, killing and dehumanization of other people.
                          
"Isn't it Hilarious? The girl who was the fucked up and messed up one in School is now OUR doctor? I mean seriously, they might as well let us give each other sessions. Oooh imagine that? Croc trying to ask Bane about his childhood issues...oooh Hahah, hahahahahahahha, HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA ."
                          
The joker was doubled over, banging his fist on the table trying to stop laughing. Could this place really get anymore rich?
                          
Ivy stood up with her tray "My head is now thumping. I'm going to go and lie down away from you lunatics." She scorned walking away. Always that walk that makes mens heads turn.
                          
Joker also stood up "Now Nigma, I do enjoy our little chats... actually I don't but these pleasantries do prevent that bitter taste in our mouths, tar tar!"
                          
He walked off slightly giggling and decided what to do next. If Edward Nigma (The most boring villain of them all he may add) could get into a computer file then surely Joker could find his own Information on his shrink?
                          
Decisions,decisions. The Joker walked away humming. A tune no-one could remember, from the 60's. Huh, The Joker stopped to think, I must really have to make myself up a birthday.