Vanishing Act - Part 36

                                    

                                          
I climb the stairs and slide into bed without turning on a light. I sigh and shift to get more comfortable when a voice says, "Finally! I thought you were never coming up."

                          
I jump at the sound of his voice and then my heart taps out a triple beat in my chest. I turn over in the bed and fumble out a hand, wondering if I'm still delirious or if this is some trick of my mind. My hand connects with his face and wave after wave of calm contentment envelops me. "Ryan." I breathe his name as though it's a prayer. I allow myself a moment to bask in the feel of him before speaking, "Does your mother know you're here?"
                          
I feel his smile around my hand. "Of course. Who do you think told me you were here?"
                          
"She expects me to sleep with you here?" There is no way I'm going to sleep now.
                          
He hesitates and I wiggle closer to him, wishing I could swaddle him to my body and never let him leave. "She wants us to talk, Hannah. She thinks that we should be honest with each other about what we've been doing."
                          
"What we've been doing?" I pull back and raise myself up on an arm so that I can have some room to think. I probe his thoughts, but his wall is firmly in place. 
                          
"I can't put it down, Hannah." His voice is flat, but there is a tinge of regret around the edges.
                          
I sigh, realizing that I never put mine up. I suppose he already knows all he needs to know from me, but the fact that he was able to listen in to my thoughts before we jumped realms is also a little disconcerting. "I think your mom is right, but I think you have the advantage here. Tell me what you already know or have figured out about me and then I'll be happy to listen to whatever you have planned."
                          
"What I know is that you've made some pretty shitty-ass deals without consulting me." He's angry; he's never angry. He pauses and then calls, "Light" and the room is illuminated by a soft glow.
                          
"Neat party trick." A spark of anger ignites a flame in me at his sharp tone; he rarely speaks to me that way and I think he should be a little grateful that I got us back at all.
                          
"Grateful?" He gives me a deadly glare and then runs his hands through his hair, scrubbing his scalp in frustration. "I know about the deals you made with the keepers and to say that I'm pissed at all of you would be an understatement, which is one of the reasons why I have no intention of putting down my wall. I need to keep it all in check so I can think clearly. I meant it before; every time I told you that I wasn't going to let you go; every time I told you that you were my priority. You're my future."
                          
"But, if you know it all," Tears spring to my eyes. I look away from his penetrating gaze, suddenly feeling terrible. "You know that a future isn't possible for us. The present is barely possible." I point to my watch.
                          
He points to his own wrist. "As you might have heard, I have a few tricks of my own."
                          
"How did you undo that binding spell?"
                          
He shrugs. "I'm getting some help of my own."
                          
Frustration fills my voice. "Are we going to spend the next few hours speaking in code and distrusting each other? Are we going to waste the time we have left?"
                          
He sighs. "No, no, I have no intention of only having a few hours and I'm not wasting a single moment that I actually get to spend with you." He reaches over and pulls me back in close to him so that my head is pressed to his chest. "I've been trying to do some damage control. I've already made some progress with the rebels, but the guy you ran into today is linked to those rebel forces."
                          
I frown. "How do you know about that?"
                          
"I think I've started acquiring some of Grayson's powers because he isn't really the ruler at the moment. I can tune into people that I want to track." I can almost hear the smile in his voice when he says, "Another neat party trick."
                          
"You said his name."
                          
He groans. "I think you're missing the bigger picture here. I think, with all the power I'm acquiring and with a few of the things I've already been able to do that I can undo all the promises you made."
                          
"I'm bound to those promises, Ryan. I made the choice to bind myself, surely I would have to make the choice to unbind it, even if you could change it."
                          
"Why wouldn't you agree to break the bind? Those promises are going to keep us apart indefinitely." He stops talking and pushes me back from his chest to look me in the eyes. "I'm not going to let that happen. I don't care what I have to do."
                          
More tears well up in my eyes and I look up at the ceiling and try to blink them back. "I did this to us, Ryan. The reason we're here right now, in this situation, well, it all comes down to me. I think it's fitting that I remove myself."
                          
"No." He shakes his head. "No. Absolutely not. I agree that part of this is your fault, but the rest of us share some of the blame. I could've done a better job at letting people see you, to know and understand you before... I wanted everyone to accept my choice without question, but they had a right to question who would rule with me, especially because Grayson turned out so poorly. But, I loved you so much that I wasn't willing to listen to anyone's concerns. I was worried that I'd be talked out of what I wanted, so I stopped listening to everyone about you and what I should have been doing was showing them what I see in you; the person I know you are, the one that I love." He strokes my hair. "I'm better when I'm with you."
                          
My tears are two rivers down my face. "What are we going to do, Ryan? I've never wanted to leave you, but I don't know how I can stay anymore."
                          
He kisses me tenderly on the lips, cheeks and forehead. "I have a few other avenues that I plan to pursue. I have some things already worked out. I can't stay while you sleep, but I needed you to know that I'm not giving up." He puts his forehead against mine. "I'm not giving up."
                          
"Oh Ryan, I've made such a mess." I sob and bury my face into his chest.
                          
"Yeah, you have, maybe we both have. But, I understand why you've done it all and if I'm being honest, I might've done the same if the situation was reversed. I think we're more alike than anyone would've ever suspected." When I pull back to look at him, he dries my tears tenderly with the pads of his thumbs. His blue eyes look deep into mine; his love for me has its own pulse in the room. He kisses me one last time on the lips and I close my eyes, hoping that it's possible to drink my fill of him. Our lips separate and the room goes eerily still. 
                          
I keep my eyes closed; remembering the feel of his hands on my face, his lips pressed to mine and I pray that won't be the last time.