Chapter 6

                                    

                                          
as soon as i got home the first thing i did was take a shower. Somehow i felt dirty and in need of cleaning myself, even though i had just taken a shower before....
                          
the shower lasted about an hour, i stayed under the water just thinking.
                          
did i really want to label myself as lesbian or bisexual. was i willing to go through the ridicule. the looks. was i even strong enough.
                          
i dont have many friends because im afraid of what people say.
                          
thats why im with Mary, because the moment she came out of th closet everyone started treating her like she was some kind of disease. i had no problem with her sexuality. it didnt bother me, but i noticed the stares she recieved.
                          
and even now, things have calmed down, but i still see people giving her looks.
                          
looks that i do not ever want to be on the recieving end of. i dont think i would be able to stand those looks without running away..
                          
when i was finished with the shower i heard my mom from the living room yell "PIZZA!"
                          
so i quickly changed and ran into the living room. my mom was already eating a slice of pizza and i quickly grabbe done and started stuffing it down my throat. pizza. my favorite food.
                          
"mOooOm" i said in a whiney voice.
                          
her face imediately turned to me, full of oncern. "what happened. who did it. do you want me to call the police." she said so quickly i might of misheard some of it.
                          
i chuckled. "no, why would you say that?" i asked her curiously.
                          
she smiled. "you had that voice. everytime something bad happens, or is happening. you use that voice. when you were ten and broke my favorite vase with your basketball... you used," she pretended to shutter. "thats voice" she said in a deep and serious tone.
                          
i could help but laugh my butt off at that. who knew. i apperantly have a .... Dun DUn DUN!! voice.
                          
ok then.
                          
"no mom, everything is fine. im just curious." i said nervously taking small bites out of my pizza.
                          
"about what honey?" she asked me white focusing on her pizza.
                          
how to i put this, i took a huge bit eand my sweet time chewing it. giving me time to think.
                          
"are you homophobic?" i asked her curioiusly.
                          
she snorted. "of course not. i love Mary!" she all but yelled.
                          
i chuckled. "what if... what if i said i was.... you know" i stuttered. how do you say this. "curious" i ended lamely.
                          
my mom looked at me with wide eyes for about three long exruciating minutes. but then her face sofened up.
                          
"honey. i will always love you. no matter who you like, or who you have sex with, its your life" she said while getting up and sitting down next to me.
                          
"ok" i said biting my pizza again.
                          
"is that why you took the long shower?" she asked me. "are you worried about it?"
                          
i looked at her. so now even my showers said something about me.
                          
"yea. its because i was curious... and well i havent had feelings about anyone in two years. i dont even feel anything.. well i didnt until this girl came along.." i sighed and bit my pizza. 
                          
"but im scared, im already judged and critisized enough as it is. i dont want to give people another reason to make fun of me."
                          
my mom wraped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him.
                          
"its ok to be different honey. you have to embrace your differentness." she kissed my head in a loving way and smiled. "if you like this girl you should go for it. love come in many different shaped and sizes."
                          
i hugged my mom. "thanks mom"
                          
she smiled and was about to walk away when she turned to me and said. "i want to meet this girl. so bring her over one of these days."
                          
i nodded and continued eating my pizza.
                          
but i was scared. what if she no longer wanted to talk to me because of what i did.
                          
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you guys, i hope shes not mad at her O.O haha
                          
anyways,
                          
you guys vote and comment.
                          
and thanks for reading. :D