105- Hold On

                                    

                                          
Shawn
                          
I sniffled and wiped my nose with my arm. I reached for the phone and dialled y/n's number. It rang for a few seconds before her melodious voice echoes through the speaker.
                          
"Hey Shawn."
                          
"Hey, can we talk?" I asked trying to sound stronger than I physically was.
                          
"I'm kind of busy now, can you call back?" I frowned slightly.
                          
"Please?" 
                          
"Erm, okay, give me a minute. Can you FaceTime me instead?" She asked gently and I nodded even though she couldn't see me. I heard the footsteps of her feet run up her stairs before she hung up and I pressed the video call button for her MacBook. 
                          
Once she accepted sheer face blew up into a larger picture on my screen and she smiled at me. Her hair was pulled into a bun and her face was bare. I suddenly remembered the reason I was doing this, I was doing it for her. The fame, the fortune; everything was for her. I smiled at her weakly and her expression became concerned.
                          
"Shawn, what's wrong? Have you been crying?" I nodded slightly, embarrassed at the fact she knew. "Come one tell me."
                          
"I miss you, I miss everyone, I miss being home and I never tell you because I don't want you to worry but not talking makes me worse and I-i don't know what to do? I don't want to let the fans down but I need to have a break" I gushed whilst starting to cry again and her eyes softened. She allowed me to cry for a while again before speaking gently but sternly. 
                          
"Shawn, stop! Breath" I tried to stop and sniffled again. "You think too much. You should never feel as if you cannot talk to me, I'm am your girlfriend after all and you're my muffin" She sent an apologetic smile. "So you can tell me anything"
                          
"I know but-"
                          
"Shawn, everything will be alright. The fans, they will understand, they care about you as do I and I want what is best for you. If you feel like you need a break then take one. I don't know what you're going through but I know you and there's so much more ahead of you." She paused. "And you know what, it won't slow down no matter what you do so you just got to hold on, cause you're so much stronger than you think" 
                          
She looked at me intently as she studied my face and I did the same to her. Her features were tired but she was still beautiful, her eyes were bright yet the bags under her eyes were dark, she looked like she had had no sleep what so ever but she was still happy and positive.
                          
"But what if you don't love me when I get back, I'm never around anymore."
                          
She laughed.
                          
"Shawn, don't be stupid, I know I haven't seen you lately but you're always on my mind." I nodded and she smiled again. Her lips were sealed shut but it was a smile, a smile I had been missing.
                          
"I love you" I sighed.
                          
"I love you too baby" her smile widened revealing her perfect teeth, "and you should never feel embarrassed or worried about talking to me, just call me" I nodded. "I have to go, Zac is making a loud noise in the kitchen and I'm worried" she chuckled referring to her little brother. I nodde.
                          
"Bye" I said.
                          
"Bye" I lifted my hand to hang up but she caught my attention. "Shawn, hold on, for me"