Chapter 45 - Skin to Skin (Grayson King POV) Pt.1

                                    

                                          
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Chapter 45 – Skin to Skin (Grayson King POV) Pt.1
                          
She doesn't pull away.
                          
We are together but she's not there but I just know that she takes comfort in the silence and my presences. It makes no sense how I could be enough for her but she completes her homework while I sit besides her on the bed.
                          
It's a full house and I know I'm not the only one that has noticed Sawyer's sulkiness – yet with Isaac mending – Mya's distracted and it's eggshells we walk on.
                          
She's going thru the motions, I think as she turns the page on her textbook, scribbling something down on the piece of paper to her right.
                          
Bear told me many times over that I should never give up once I left general population. He had experienced solitary confinement and death row would be just like that. Stay busy he'd tell me, work out, create a routine, but most importantly do not lose hope.
                          
I lost it. Eventually I had too. As I watched Sawyer now I could see and experience surely what it felt like for my family to see me losing my way. Focused on Sawyer she turns her head slightly to the right, peering up at me, giving me a small smile before returning to her work.
                          
"You don't have to do that you know," I say carefully. At the lack of using my voice the words come out rough and low.
                          
She returns her gaze to me, a bit of confusion in them.
                          
"Pretend," I clarify, "faking... it gets... draining after a while. So," I nod slowly, "you don't have to do that around me."
                          
There needed to be a discussion about Rosemary and Leonardo but Sawyer and Grayson were more important. We couldn't change whom we were inside, soul and heart wise.
                          
She has my full attention, the beams of light that were bursting in through the window have now long gone and the night sky blends together angrily, red, blue and oranges swirled.
                          
Sawyer isn't going to say something, respond in anyway so I pull my gaze from her when she to looks back to her textbook, writing on the notebook besides her. It had been a day or maybe two since she's openly just invited me into her head, sending me images, memories that she holds dear. There were no weird comments, the logical but still terrifying – I missed them.
                          
"Hey," I try again, this time with something different in mind. Unsure I flex my fingers at my side where she cannot see the nerves. Turning to me, after watching her for the past hour I instantly catch her expression changing. The brows scrunched from her deep concentration smooth's out and I wonder for a moment with a bit of excitement that I was a welcomed distraction.
                          
When she nods I know I've spent too much time overthinking her facial expressions.
                          
"Uhm, I know you'll have homework and stuff, but I was wondering if maybe you'd," sighing, my heart galloping away inside my chest cavity, I flex my hand again.
                          
"What's wrong?" she asks as she shifts into a seated position on her bed.
                          
Shaking my head from side to side, the result a dizzying moment, I push that down.
                          
"A date," I blurt out stupidly. Closing my eyes I shake my head. Seriously? 
                          
"I meant, would you like to go out on a date?" I clear my throat, "With me," I sit waiting for what feels like hours as Sawyer's face goes completely shocked, then blank.