It's been about a two months since Namjoon began questioning.
Since the night when he was curled up into Jin. Since that night where he felt more at home than any other moment in his life.
But his questions started screaming louder the more he thought about it,the more he thought about Jin.
Now every time he sees Jin, its like the lights are finally on. He's no longer seeking him blindly.
Namjoon thinks he wants him. He's just scared of that, scared of finding it out for sure.
The more he sees Jin, the more he began to notice how he thinks of him as more than a close friend. How he wants more, but at the same time he doesn't, because having him means risking everything else, and he’s not sure he can do that.
Namjoon could feel the difference in himself, the war in his mind, shooting around with no aim.
He was fighting his urges in the fear of being caught. Suddenly his lyrics he wrote that night on the boat make even more sense than they ever did. His subconscious had kicked in and his heart had bled out into his writing. And now his subconscious had become a conscious reality.
Namjoon had been in his room all day, like most days now. Since his revelation he minimised contact slightly with the others.
Which, to be honest wasn’t feasible considering they live together, but he tried. He could hear everyone in the sitting room. There were animated shouts and sudden cries of laughter which undoubtedly came from Hobi.
He could hear the TV blend in with their chatter. He zoned out of it, turning on music while scrolling through a plethora of social media notifications.
He doesn't hear him enter but he feels a solid tap on his shoulder when Hobi is right in front of him.
"Hey Joon."
"Hi," Namjoon responds apprehensively. Gauging the situation.
"Are you...is everything okay?" Hobi asks scratching behind his ear.
Namjoon has been asked that question a lot lately, and its getting tiring. But at the same time its his fault he hasn’t opened up. Well not really, he’s really doing the rest a favour.
He's just hoping the day comes where he loses his feelings and he can function again. Which he predicts will never happen.
"I'm fine, Hobi,"
Hoseok raises his eyebrows in faux surprise, and Namjoon resist the urge to roll his eyes.
"Really? 'Cuz well... Never mind. You wanna come join?" Hobi says but he's already retreating, he knows that Namjoon will decline, but he just asked for good measure. Namjoon shakes his head confirming Hobi's thoughts, and he's out the door.
A/N
Just a short filler chap.
<3
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Namjin
Fanfiction"He feels Jin's hand intertwine with his and Namjoon can think of a whole list of reasons not to latch onto it then. But he does. " A story in which Namjoon catches feelings for Jin and doesn't know what to do. Warning: some smut