Part 40

                                    

                                          
Hannah's POV

                          


                          
"Please don't go" I say sadly protectively holding onto Shawns arm
                          
"I have to" Shawn chuckles sadly
                          
"When can I see you?" I ask 

                          
"Soon, I promise. My parents really want to meet you" he smiles
                          
"Tell them I can't wait" I say
                          
"Bye Ashton" Shawn says giving him a hug
                          
"Bye Shawn" he says hugging him back
                          
"Bye guys" he says to Michael, Luke and Calum
                          
They all mumble a sad goodbye, I feel bad fot them, they got really close.I hear a horn outside and I know it's time for him to leave, I walk him out the door and he smiles at me
                          
"I really like you" he says shyly
                          
"I really like you too" I say, I slowly lean in and kiss him, I never ever want to let go but we both pull away when the taxi driver beeps the horn again.
                          
"No Goodbye?" I say questionly when he starts to pull his suitcase away
                          
"Goodbye would imply I'm leaving" he says and gets in the car and it drives away
                          
"I love you" I whisper to the empty spot where he was standing. I walk back into the house, Michael stops me
                          
"Wanna play Drangon ball Z" he asks, I push past him and go straight up to Ashtons room, I sit down and start to cry. Like it says in the fault in our stars I was saving my ten and this was it. Of all the shit I've been through why does this hurt so much? I've lost so many people and I'm not even losing Shawn, Why am I hurting so bad? I cry harder than before, I sit thinking Why didn't I tell him I loved him? Do I love him? What is love?
                          
Ashton walks in and sits beside me "Go away" I say weakly
                          
"No, your hurting and I want to help" he says hugging me
                          
"I'm not hurting" I yell, I run downstairs to the bathroom and find a swimsuit and goggles and a cap. I put them on and run outside. I dive in and start to let the water wash away all my tears. I'm such a horrible person, my brother died and I didn't even shed a tear, Ashton tried to help me and I yelled at him.
                          
I swim hard until Calum tells me it's time for lunch, I get out and lock myself in a closet. After a while the shouts from the boys stop, they know that I want to be alone. I need to find out if I'm in love. I silently run upstairs to Ashtons room, I find him sitting on the bed on his phone. When he see's me he smiles
                          
"Ashton, Have you ever been in love?" I ask sitting beside him
                          
"I have" he smiles
                          
"I need you to tell me if I'm in love" I beg
                          
He considers this "Ok, What do you love about him?"
                          
"Everything, His hair, his teeth, his smile, his personality, his dorky accent, his muscles, his voice, his fashion sence, how understanding he is, his humor, I could spend a whole day with him in an empty room and never get bored" I lose track and when I bring myself back to earth Ashton is grinning at me
                          
"Oh honey, your in love"