8

                                    

                                          
"I have a question for you," Tyler asked one morning, sun barely above the horizon in the dim windows which served as their own view of a world they were no longer a part of. The only lights that illuminated Tyler's disinterested face were the ceiling ones, which were harsh and unforgiving. Josh could see his flaws under the lights, but he didn't really mind. The acne scars just made him more cute.
                          
"Yeah?" He replied, sticking some more of Tree Pine's shitastic food into his mouth. For morning, they had gotten remotely lucky. There was delicious coffee cake and the daily oatmeal, which Josh thanked God for. He was extremely lucky in that he didn't mind the oatmeal, or else he would be like Tyler; all skin and bones. He didn't think Tyler's weight was unhealthy, but he kept losing and losing it whenever they took daily vitals. Josh and Tyler's doctors were somewhat concerned, but Josh was less concerned than his therapist. He understood the food here sucked ass.
                          
Pete had always joked he'd walked in with just depression, and left with some form of an eating disorder. Patrick would always look uncomfortable, having one himself, but Pete always reminded him he was just trying to make light of the situation. And personally, Josh couldn't blame him.
                          
Mental hospitals sucked.
                          
Tyler chewed on a piece of pineapple for a moment before continuing. "Why do you cut?" He asked nonchalantly, and Josh wasn't as surprised as he should've been. He'd expected the question eventually from Tyler. They were pretty damn close now despite Tree Pine's "focus on yourself" policies. Josh sure as hell didn't need Tyler to survive, but having Tyler made surviving just a little bit easier.
                          
Josh cut up another piece of bread and began to chew on it in thought, eyes squinted up at the windows. Sometimes, if you were awake enough, you could watch the sun rise, and that morning, which Tyler's question and Tree Pine's delicious coffee cake, he felt plenty awake. In fact, he felt almost jittery. Like he needed to grab his drumsticks and crack them on Tree Pine's set as Tyler poured his demons into his words and they dispelled all of their negative energy.
                          
After a few silent moments, Josh simply shrugged. "I dunno... It just...feels nice, ya know?" He lamely said, and Tyler looked at him with his "really, bitch?" face, the one that made Josh laugh for a few seconds. Josh knew Tyler provided that expression in both honest annoyance at his response and to lighten to atmosphere. Self harm wasn't exactly the brightest topic, and having it in a mental hospital made it even less bright.
                          
"I do. But there's always more to it, ya know? There's always...some sad backstory and some sad words and a skeleton crying even though it lacks the eyes to do so," Tyler insisted, dropping his fork as he finished up his small fruit plate. The look in his eyes were intense and persistent, wanting to dig into the tight crooks and nannies of Josh's cracking skeleton. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Josh couldn't help but think that Tyler was cute with his ruffled hair and wide eyes.
                          
Josh took a drink of his orange juice, thinking back to his story. He hadn't really thought of his past, for obvious reasons. It wasn't exactly motivating and happy, which was expected. "Well," he began. "It's not a sob story, or anything. Not like...my dad beat me every night and my mom drank until she beat my dad. My family...they're fine. My sister, Abigail, is amazing. She's smart and funny, and Ashley is too. My brother, Jordan, is super chill and we used to play the old Mario Kart together," Josh laughed, and Tyler smiled at that too. But they both knew where the story was going.
                          
"Well... I always knew from when I was young I didn't really...like girls. And I was freaked out by it, ya know? Being... gay wasn't exactly as acceptable as it is now. All the kids at school would talk about how pretty girls were and I'd just kinda go along with it. Until... I met this one kid. I got this stupid crush on him, and I told him over some chat website and he took screenshots and told everyone at school," Josh told Tyler, chewing on his lip as he played with the crumbs of his coffee cake. "Ya know all those dumb anti-bullying videos they show kids? Yeah, well, that shit is fake. That's what they want you think bullying is, cause no one ever fucking does that shit?" Josh angrily hissed, body stiff and tense from his rage. "The real shit is all of your friends slowly leaving you because they're scared you're gonna suck them off when they sleep. The real shit is hearing your name and being called a fag, and all the girls and boys giving you dirty looks. No one shoves you into a locker, they just talk about you and ruin your name."