Double Date

                                    

                                          
((Author's Note: Dearest readers, I beg your forgiveness. I'm sorry about the hiatus. I've just been struggling. But, now is not the time for what's going on in my life! You guys deserve an update, and here it is!))


                          
"Hey, Dave." Karkat opened the younger Strider's door, looking around. "Yo! Strider! Where the ever loving fuck nuggets are you?"
Dave poked his head out from his closet, "Oh, hey. Over here."
The smaller troll walked over, frowning, "Why are you hiding in the closet?"
"Dude, I came out of the closet." Dave grinned. Karkat frowned. Dave frowned back, "Earth joke. Whatever. Whaddya need?"
"Huh? Oh, right." Karkat shifted his weight. "I wanted to go on a double date."
Dave arched a pale blond eyebrow, "Uh-huh. And the other couple invited would be...?"
"I was thinking Fuckbert and Muscleshirt Strider."
"Pffft. My best bro and my older bro? Oh a double date with us?" Dave laughed, before stopping and thinking about the idea. "Go ask them. If they're OK with it, I'm up for it."
Karkat flashed a grin, "Strider, you are a great matesprit."
Dave winked behind his shades, "I aim to please."
Karkat shuffled off, still wondering what Dave had been doing, hiding in his closet. He quickly found Dirk, who was drinking what probably was his sixth cup of coffee. "Hey! Strider!"
Dirk continued stirring his coffee, "What?" he asked, without looking over at the troll.
"Wanna go on a double date with me and my matesprit?"
Dirk paused, frowning at the coffee, "Hm. Ask John. If he's OK with it, I'm up for it. But we've only been dating a few weeks. You sure this is a good idea?"
Karkat snorted, "No, but double dates always seemed fun, and Kanaya and Rose are kinda boring."
Dirk shrugged, "Hand me that Redbull, wouldja?"
Karkat picked up the energy drink and held it out, "Uh. What're you doing?"
Dirk locked eyes with the troll and poured the drink into his coffee without breaking eye contact. Karkat gulped. "I'm having coffee with my boyfriend." He pointed to the other cup. "I already added a Five Hour Energy drink, but it still doesn't seem like enough sugar."
"Are you trying to kill yourself and your matesprit?!" Karkat asked, staring in horror at the Extremely Caffeinated Beverage.
"Nah, but we're working on marathoning some anime, so this is pretty fucking essential."
Karkat shuttered, "You're gonna Die™, you know."
Dirk shrugged, "Whatever. Anyway." He picked up both drinks, "Follow me." Dirk walked to his room.
A very sleepy Egbert was curled up on his bed. Dirk nudged him, "Hey, sleepyhead. Coffee."
John sat up, yawning. He accepted the drink and sipped it before gagging, "Dirk! What is this crap?"
"...Coffee."
"With something called a Redbull and Five Hour Energy added." Karkat glared.
John sighed, "Dirk, I asked for coffee. Not a heart attack in a cup."
"But I drink it and I'm still alive." Dirk sipped his cup to prove it. John rolled his eyes and smiled at Karkat.
"Hi Karkat! What can I do for ya?"
"Wanna go on a double date with me and Strider?" Karkat asked quickly.
John frowned, "What exactly is a double date?"
"It's two couples going on a date." Dirk informed him.
"Uhhh. Ooookaaay?" John looked baffled.
"Is that a yes?" Karkat gulped.
"Sure, why not?" John gave a weak and nervous grin.
Dirk sat beside him, "If you don't wanna, we'll respect that."
"No, no. It's OK! Seems like a... good idea!" John sipped his coffee quickly. Karkat shifted.
"You sure?"
John nodded, his eyes watering a bit.
"Are you... crying?"
John put his hand over his mouth, "This is disgusting and very hot. I hurt my mouth and I'm pretty sure I can feel my heart stopping from a caffeine overdose."
Karkat laughed, "OK, how's a movie sound? Or dinner."
"Only if it's a horror movie!" John grinned, a rather sadistic twinkle in his eyes. Karkat paled.
"Uh... s-sure! Whatever!" Karkat stiffened. "When are you two available?!"
John looked up at his boyfriend, now smiling innocently, "Tonight OK, Dirk?"
Dirk stared for a few moments, "Sounds great." he muttered, looking away shyly.
 John leaned over and kissed Dirk's cheek. Dirk put a hand to his chest, "You're giving me all the dokis, Egbert."
John beamed proudly, "Tonight at seven! See ya then, Karkat!"
Karkat walked back stiffly. He flopped onto Dave's bed, shaking, "John wants to watch a horror movie...He looked so evil when he said it too..."
Dave didn't reply, so Karkat sat up and knocked on Dave's bathroom door. "Don't come in!" Dave responded loudly.
"Strider?! What the fuck are you doing?"
"...Testing something. Stay out, I'll be out in a minute."
Karkat growled and rolled his eyes, sitting down. A few minutes later, the door opened, revealing Dave-
-who was wearing gray facepaint, a black wig, and painted horns on a headband.
Karkat gasped and stared, "S-Strider?" 
Dave shifted and looked down, "What do you think? Jade suggested it. She made these horns for me out of fabric and painted them herself."
Karkat swooned, "Strider, you're the best fucking matesprit ever."
"But do I look OK?" Dave asked.
"Dave, you look great." Karkat hugged his matesprit. Dave hugged back. "You gonna wear that to the date?"
"Maybe." Dave kissed Karkat's head.
Karkat purred, "I'd like it if you did wear it."
"Then I will. Now, what's Egbro planning?" Dave muttered.




                          
When the Hour arrived, Dave and Karkat knocked on Dirk's door. John opened it a few seconds later, blushing like crazy. He gaped, "Wow, Dave! You make a cool troll!"
Dave smirked, "I make a cool anything."
"C'mon in." John stepped aside. Dave grinned when he saw a bright pink mark on hid shoulder.
"Dirk~." Dave spoke in a singsong way.
Dirk looked over, "Yeah?"
"Tell your boyfriend to hide his hickey."
John squeaked and pulled his collar up, "Ohmygosh." He faceplanted into Dirk's bed. Dirk laughed and rubbed his back.
"So, what are we watching?"
John sat up, grinning sadistically again, "Ouijia!"
Karkat frowned, "What?"
"You'll see." John winked and put the DVD in and sat beside Dirk, leaning over and kissing Dirk's cheek.

                          
Halfway through the movie, Dave and Karkat were huddled under the covers, shaking, but keeping a stoic face. John swung his legs, smiling.
                          
Once the movie ended, Dave snorted, "That wasn't scary."
"Sure, Jan." John laughed. He looked up at Dirk and looked away shyly. Dirk glanced down.
"John?"
John mumbled something.
Dave raised an eyebrow.
"What?" Karkat frowned.
"I... love you." John whispered.