08 | Decision

                                    

                                          
Light starts to seep through the curtains of his bedroom. He wakes up, squinting at the brightness entering his room. He turns to his side, observing the woman who shared his bed last night, sleeping soundly as he notices the rising and falling of her chest in a steady rhythm.
                          
He traces his thumb along her jaw, wanting to make sure that she was there, that it wasn't a trickery of his mind. He felt her move slightly, knowing that she would be waking up soon.
                          
Her eyelids flutter open, the first thing she sees is a pair of eyes that made her feel that he was staring right into her soul. Whatever walls she built around herself always crumbled when she was with him, allowing herself to be vulnerable.
                          
"Hey." She whispered, a secret smile plays on her lips. He smiles back, planting a soft kiss on her lips.
"Hey. Sleep well?"
                          
"Best sleep I've ever had." Kristen said, resting her head on his chest, planting soft kisses on his chest. "I don't want to leave this bed, Rob." She whines. Rob chuckles, brushing her hair back.
                          
"C'mon, love. Tonight has to end eventually. I mean, it is morning already."
                          
"Yeah, but that means we have to face reality. It sucks."
                          
"It does, but we have to get out of here sooner or later." He kissed her quickly as he slid out of the bed, putting on his boxers and entered the bathroom. As he closed the door behind him, Kristen clutched the blanket closer to her. She was feeling conflicted, not knowing what to do after what happened last night.
                          
Part of her wanted this again, the love that consumed and consumed and set her body on fire. But it was too much of a risk. It was the love that would probably combust and leave them in ashes, leaving them empty and scarred all over again.
                          
She settled for the other choice. The safe choice. Yes, she'd have to settle with not having more, but at least she had something. Right? 
                          
With a groan, she lay back down on the bed, covering her face with a pillow.
                          
"Kris? You okay?" She felt the bed dip, a hand brushing her hair. "What's wrong?" She sat up, her eyes staring at the white cotton sheets.
                          
"What's going to happen Robert?" She asked, her voice trembling slightly as her nervousness begins to show. "What's going to happen to us?"
                          
"What do you want, Kris?" He replies, his expression unreadable as he looks at Kristen. "We can't act like this for the rest of our lives. This isn't just a fling, okay? I'll be here, I promise you that, but I have to know if we're on the same page."
                          
"Look, Robert. I love you. I'll always love you. I want us. Together. But I'm scared."
                          
"What are you afraid of, love?"
                          
"What if it doesn't work out? Again? What if this time, the damage is irreparable? This time, it's not just a few months, it's years and years of me without you. I can't handle that Rob. Not again."
                          
He sits there in silence, holding her tightly against him. He remembers the time when he and Kristen spent too much time apart, making him resort to drinks as a way to cope with the stress of his career, further alienating her away from him. He remembers the pain he felt when Kristen called him and confessed about her infidelity. He remembers how instead of working to move past it, he decided to throw himself into drinking, disregarding the consequences. He remembers how much of a wreck he was because the one person that kept him together was the same person that tore him apart.
                          
Now, he knew better. The mistakes of the past didn't define their future.
                          
But was it enough?