Something strange

                                    

                                          
Cold. The only word to describe the day. It was cold. As October had passed by the order of time it is now November. Not quite winter yet, but closing in fast. With the cold came warm cuddles in bed. Evan had taken off work specifically to spend it with Johnathan. Which was amazing in every way. Thoughts still lingered in his mind though, but that only motivated Evan to pull him closer. Evan's warm presence was a constant reminder that he wasn't alone anymore. He never had to be alone again. "Evan?" The man hummed in his ear. His eyes still closed and his body relaxed with comfort. Evan's face was nestled in the crook of his neck, his arms wrapped tightly around Johnathan. They were spooning moments ago until Johnathan shivered, so Evan rolled onto his other side wrapping his arms around Johnathan as he did. "Why did you move to California?" 
                          
"Mmm, to pursue my dreams I guess." His voice was laced with exaustion. "Probably not a good excuse, I probably would of been able to do that back home." 
                          
Johnathan's fingers acted without his permission, pushing strands of hair from the boys closed eyes. "And your parents? Why didn't you just stay at home with them?" 
                          
Soft lips pressed against his neck. Johnathan knew, due to Brian, that Evan's mother had passed away and his father married Craig's mother. Evan opened his eyes a soft smile playing on his lips. "My mom passed away when I was fifteen, she was amazing in every way. She'd play piano until the moon was high in the sky. I used to sit beside the piano and do my homework, that is until she got sick. She got arthritis in her hands, she couldn't play anymore, then she started forgetting. She couldn't remember how to play, she couldn't remember who I was. She passed away in her sleep, so at least she was at peace. Things changed between my dad and me, he became very in perticular over everything I did. We came the stereotypical Asian family. I had to make straight A's, anything less wasn't an exception. I wanted to learn piano, but my dad took me to guitar classes instead. The only reason why I was able to continue playing hockey was because of the possible scholarships." Evan brought another kiss to Johnathan's throat. "When he married Craig's mom I had a little brother, it was nice. His mom convinced my dad that being gay, or even changing your born gender was wrong. So I left." Evan nipped at his throat. "I'm glad I did too."Johnathan had asked one day, while Evan was making dinner, about his gender. All he got for an answer what that he was gender neutral, and that his gender and sex life were two different things. But he said to simply call him a he. Since then Johnathan didn't say anything about it; because he realized how uncomfortable Evan was with the conversation. He must have been mortified or afraid of what Johnathan would think. As if he'd ever judge him? "Do you ever forget you're loved?"
                          
"There have been times. I grew up with only my mother. She was hardly around because of work, and when she was she had he boyfriends over. They made her feel loved, and in an exchange she was scared to change, they hurt me. I forgot what it was like to be loved by my mother. Luke and I became close, and we confused our hormones for love. Sometimes I catch myself wondering if the words we shared in bed were ever real." Johnathan smiled weakly, even though it was fake. He was hurting, but he wouldn't admit it. "I met the most amazing and beautiful girl on the planet, it started as a secret affair, but the secret was out once I accidentally got her pregnant. She moved in with me, loved me, it felt so real. Then when I held my son for the first time, I knew what real love was. When we had Ellen my heart swelled and I knew I'd do anything to protect them. But as quickly as my love came, it vanished. My perfect wife was in bed with another man. I was left alone with only Luke to help me raise two kids. It felt like the end came just as it began." Johnathan's fingers tangled into Evan's hair. "Sometimes though, I do forget I'm loved." The youngest pressed open mouth kisses to Johnathan's throat, and in response Johnathan gave a soft moan. "Slow down baby we have all day." 
                          
Evan sucked on Johnathan's soft skin before pulling away and looking up into beautiful blue eyes. "Do you know how beautiful you are?" That was completely out of the blue. "You look beautiful in every way." Johnathan closed his eye's, he knew where this was going. "You're perfect in every way." Evan pressed soft kisses to Johnathan's face. "The way you're beautiful blue eyes shine in the morning light." Evan brought a hand to caress his cheek. "You're skin is so soft and beautiful." Evan's hands traveled his torso, and when they got a little lower Johnathan sharply inhaled. Though Evan's hand never touched him where he wanted, only in areas so close. "Let me love you today. Let me show you how much I love you, just like you have for me." The eldest gave a small nod, his bottom lip held by his teeth as he did. The soft bed sheets rolled down to their hips when Evan climbed on top of Johnathan.
                          
Maybe it was the softness in his voice, or maybe it was Johnathan's desperation for love. There was no real understanding as to why Johnathan treasured these moments. They meant everything to him. When Evan was asleep afterwards had to be the best part. Sure the sex was nice, and he certainly enjoyed Evan becoming some sort of hot mess, but something about seeing Evan exausted and satisfied made Johnathan's heart go wild all over again. He loved seeing him all sweaty with his cum coming out of his ass, maybe it was a job well done? But the way Evan didn't care that he was a mess and still managed to fall asleep amazed Johnathan. With anything else Evan would be all over staying clean. He never liked to be filthy so to just see him in bed as a dirty mess was satisfying. Evan was a peace of art everytime, and Johnathan loved to draw Evan while he was asleep. Something about him is just...perfect. So amazingly perfect. 
                          
But where perfection resides, imperfection watches. "You disgusting whore." He tried to ignore her, he focused on Evan and yet he couldn't. The man sitting on his hips, fingers massaging his chest and ribs, was no longer him. "You're mine." Johnathan's eyes widened. She sat there dragging her hands over his chest. She sat with a bare chest and her favorite red lace panties. "You belong to me." Her fingers trailed down farther locking around the hem of his briefs.
                          
To say Johnathan was disgusted was an understatement, he was about to be physically ill. He shoved her off of him, she nearly fell off the bed. Johnathan took off running into the bathroom, locking the door as he slammed it closed. He sat himself down beside the toilet lifting the lid and the seat up. His throat burned as he coughed up the contents in his stomach. "Baby are you okay?" She spoke through the door. The knob shook as she tried to open the door. "Baby unlock the door." 
                          
"Leave me alone Cass! Please! I'm begging you! I want to live my life!" 
                          
"You have no life." Johnathan’s head jerked to face the tub. Michael sat on the side staring at him. "This isn't a real life. He isn't real. Your friends aren't real. Uncle Luke isn't real." He looked so much older now. Like he had never passed away, and still had the chance to grow up. He'd be seven now if that were so. "But I am. Go home Dad. You need to go home." 
                          
Tears mixed with the sickness he had coughed up in the toilet. "I don't understand I am home." 
                          
"Go home Dad. Your family is waiting for you to come home." Michael stood walking to the door. "Stay here only a few more days. Spend it with these friends. Then go home." 
                          
The lock on the door unlocked and before Michael could move the door swung open. Evan ran to Johnathan holding him, kissing him along his spine. "I'm not her I promise. I promise I'm not her." Johnathan relaxed into him. He closed the lid and flushed the toilet. Evan reluctantly let him go starting a bath with all of Johnathan's favorite scented salts. Once the tub was near full Evan removed the eldest of his briefs and lifted him into the tub, which he soon joined him in pulling him as close as he could to him. "I'm so sorry." Johnathan sat thinking over what Michael had ment. 
                          
Was Johnathan dying?
                          
Or was there more to this than he originally thought. 
                          
So for right now it seems some things have calmed down enough. Though these last couple of days I have felt fairly shitty for not writing as most of you whom read it seem to enjoy it. I don't know I just felt like a jerk just stopping because of drama going on within the fandom. Sadly the main reason for me to be writing today isn't because I felt so much like an ass and guilt ed myself into writing (though no doubt I would tomorrow.) But because roughly four years ago I had this boyfriend at the time whom injured me pretty bad while we were in high school. It's permanent damage to my shoulder, and every day I risk losing all movement in it. Today I pushed myself over my limit and hurt it so badly I can hardly do anything, so I just laid back and wrote this chapter. But I'd like to say. Do me and everyone you know a favor. If you are within an abusive relationship (boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife) please leave it. I seriously do not like hearing of kids getting into these relationships and getting stuck in them. I was lucky I got out, and not everyone is. So please if you ever get stuck in an abusive relationship with your partner (whether that be your boyfriend/girlfriend husband/wife) please seek help. It will only get worse if you don't. Trust me. Now I know a lot of people whom stop and read my authors note are probably rolling their eyes and talking shit. But abuse of any kind is never a joke. So anyways I will keep you guys posted, and uh yea! I'll talk to y'all later. Bye guys!