33.

                                    

                                          
Chapter 33
                          
I must have looked at Xavier for minutes without talking. My mouth felt like it was opening and closing waiting for the words to form, but they couldn't.  
                          
I didn't know what to do, what to say. Obviously, I loved Xavier and I wanted to be with him for as long as I lived, but we were still teenagers and I was never brought up in a way where I ever thought of getting married so young. 
                          
That and the fact we hadn't even been together a year.
                          
"Xav, are you being serious?" I asked. Xavier looked to me, the spark from his eyes slowly diming. He put his face back into his two hands. 
                          
"Jesus, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it here, you deserve chocolates and flowers and a fucking Eiffel Tower." His voice was muffled by the fact he had his hands over his face. "Every girl deserves their man on one knee, especially you. I'm sorry Angel." 
                          
I came forward and grabbed one of Xavier's hands and pulled it from his face. I kissed the back of his hand. 
                          
"Xav, I'm not bothered about the romance, you've never been romantic before." 
                          
"I want to be romantic for you. Girls like romance, or so I've heard. I want you to be happy, that's all." His big brown eyes were looking at me and I felt my heart melt as I looked at him. He looked like a little child. 
                          
"I am happy." I stated. My heart was still skipping about the fact he asked me to marry him. "You're probably still high from the drugs." 
                          
"I've done enough drugs in my life to know I'm not making any of this up. Jesus Em, I didn't think I'd even be talking to a girl, being in the same space as anyone else. I wanted to be alone, but now I just want to be alone with you." 
                          
"I was pushy." 
                          
"I'm glad you were pushy. I wanted you as soon as I saw you, I just needed to get my stupid head in check to realise that. You're everything I've ever needed. I'd be damned to ever let you go." Xavier squeezed my hand. I smiled his way. 
                          
"My mum, she's always told me that I needed to marry someone rich. I was taught I was only allowed to marry when I was older. My mum would flip shit." I said. She had always tried to brainwash me, but it seemed I was doing everything she didn't want me to do. 
                          
"Bollocks to your mum, Em." He let out. "No offence." He said sheepishly. "To be honest, I've had enough of mothers getting in the way of my life, so yes, bollocks to your mum, I want you to marry me, it's plain and simple." 
                          
"You're so demanding." I replied. 
                          
"And you're so beautiful." I blushed under his gaze. He left me speechless. 
                          
He was nothing like he was before, he was so much more foregoing, out going and sociable. I knew he was trying for me and he wasn't perfect, but who was? He was Xavier, and I was pulled to him the day I met him.  
                          
"Aren't you meant to be telling me all them secrets?" I asked lightly, but by the look of Xavier's face and the fall of his smile, I knew he didn't take this as lightly as I'd hoped. 
                          
He looked stone faced and ashen. He looked nervous and petrified. 
                          
"Right." He clipped. He turned his face away from me and I leaned over the bed and grabbed his chin, I pulled it lightly until he was looking at me. 
                          
"Don't be so nervous. I'm here for you, you know that." I said, my breath fanning across his face. His eyes were looking down at my lips, not in my eyes. Never in my eyes. 
                          
"Just shut up and kiss me." He groaned. Before I had the chance to reply his lips were against mine. I breathed a sigh of relief that he was still here and I could still do this. I wanted to savour this moment for the rest of my life. I needed him just like he needed me.