August 16th 2016

                                    

                                          


                          
"Don't be alarmed."
                          
"That alone makes me alarmed."
                          
"I'll preface all of this by saying that it has absolutely nothing to do with Lucas."
                          
"What doesn't? Daniel, you're scaring me."
                          
"To be truthful, I'm a little scared of it all myself."
                          
"All of what? Daniel, spit it out!!"
                          
"Your sister is here."
                          
"Charlotte?"
                          
"Yes."
                          
"Why is Charlotte with you?"
                          
"No idea. But, uh... Sophie, she's crying."
                          
"She's what?"
                          
"Crying. The sobbing kind of crying."
                          
"Are you sure? Charlotte is emotionally stunted. She doesn't have a clue how to cry. She has no tear ducts."
                          
"You're wrong because Charlotte is most definitely here and she is most definitely crying."
                          
"Why?"
                          
"That's the thing. I have no idea why. Whenever I ask, she just cries even more. Soph, I have no idea what to do. Crying women make me nervous."
                          
"Ask her why she's crying."
                          
"I did. Twice! Like I said, she just cries even more when I ask what's wrong."
                          
"Ask her again. Third time lucky."
                          
"Really? Sophie, I don't think that's going to work."
                          
"Just ask. The worst she does is cry a little more."
                          
"A little more? Try, a lot more. By the way, are you sure you're not the one emotionally stunted? Shouldn't you be more concerned about Charlotte?"
                          
"Once I know what we're dealing with, I may be a little more sympathetic. Now, go! Ask her why she's crying."
                          
"Ok, ok. Sheesh, you're demanding. Ok, uh... -Charlotte, why are you crying?-"
                          
<<Because... I just... Oh, God!>>
                          
"-Ok, well, I'm sure it'll all work out.- Sophie, what do I do?"
                          
"Put her on the phone."
                          
"Are you sure that's wise?"
                          
"Maybe, maybe not."
                          
"I have a bad feeling about this. -Charlotte, Sophie wants to talk to you.-"
                          
<<What?>>
                          
"What's wrong?"
                          
<<He's... humiliated... embarrassing... I didn't know...>>
                          
"You're not making any sense, Charlotte."
                          
<<He's gay!>>
                          
"Who is?"
                          
"-Who is gay?-"
                          
<<Who, what? What's going on?>>
                          
"-Shut up, Jasmine. We're in crisis mode here.- Charlotte, who is gay?"
                          
<<Brogan!>>
                          
"-Brogan?-"
                          
"Brogan?"
                          
<<Brogan's gay? You owe me fifty bucks. Ouch, don't hit me because my gaydar is on point.>>
                          
<<This is humiliating!>>
                          
"-No, don't cry. No more crying.- Sophie, what have you done?!"
                          
"How is this my fault?!"
                          
"It just is! Tell me how I make her stop crying!"
                          
"Chocolate, wine and put her in a cab to go home."
                          
"Really?"
                          
"Give it a go. I'll call Mum and make sure someone is there to meet her."
                          
"She can always stay here for the night."
                          
"Trust me, you don't want that."
                          
"Maybe you're right. What if she cries all night?! God, no."
                          
"Oh, sweetheart, you're so naive. But, yeah, let's go with your version. Actually, I'll get Dad to come pick her up from your place."
                          
<<Are we going to hunt him down and castrate him now? Or tomorrow? Please say we're doing it now. I'll grab my purse, we'll jump in a cab and we'll castrate him. Sounds like a Tuesday night plan to me.>>
                          
"Castrate, who?"
                          
"Brogan, apparently."
                          
"Haha, good luck to him. I can just imagine Jasmine cutting off his crown jewels."
                          
"Daniel, darling, it's not Jasmine that he's going to need to worry about."
                          
"Yeah, Camille is pretty bad too. And your dad. I would say Lucas, but given his current condition, I doubt he can do much damage. What about Emma?"
                          
"Forget Emma. That bastard needs to worry about me!"
                          
"No offence, babe, but what exactly can you do?"
                          
"More than you know. Must go. Someone will come get Charlotte and I'll speak to you tomorrow. Bye."
                          
"Wait, what?"
                          
"..."
                          
"Sophie?"
                          
[Call ended.]