Chapter Eighteen

                                    

                                          


                          
                  
                          
I never see Styles anymore.
                          
He becomes almost like a ghost in my life and I begin to wonder if he was even really there.
                          
When I go to visit Liam after his rehearsals Styles is already long gone, and if I visit before he's somehow running late.
                          
My only way of knowing that he still exists is based on his guitar and singing parts I can hear through the walls of the acting room or through the door to their rehearsal room.
                          
However, I never allow myself to go up to the window anymore. For some reason I can't. It's as if I want to know he's there, but I can't bring myself to look at him.
                          
Like I'm trying to make the last way that he looked at me last, so I can't stand seeing him look at me differently now.
                          
And that's wrong.
                          
Because while I'm so focused on Styles' eyes, I can hear Liam playing away on his bass simultaneously. Repeatedly reminding me that he's the one whose eyes I should be worried about.
                          
Which only makes me choose not to look through the window even more.
                          
Instead I meet Liam in the hallway after their rehearsals or sometimes even in the parking lot. If my rehearsals are running late I find him leaning against the front of my car, beaming at me as I step off the edge of the sidewalk and make my way across the parking lot.
                          
"Evening, ma'am," he says to me as I approach him tonight. His words cause a smile to break across my face as I give him a nod.
                          
"Evening, yourself," I say.
                          
"Thursday night is the big night. Only three days away," he tells me as if I don't already know. "How are you feeling?"
                          
"Both excited and nervous," I say, leaning against my car with him. "Opening night does that to a person."
                          
"You're going to be great. I just know it," he reassures me.
                          
Then he's kissing me, and my stomach dances all over the place as per usual.
                          
"How long have you been waiting?" I ask him as our mouths part.
                          
"Just twenty minutes. We had a bit of a late rehearsal because we're going to be performing for both Daniel and Gideon on Wednesday to show them some of the songs we've completed. We're all trying to make sure that everything is perfect," he explains.
                          
"Makes sense."
                          
"You should stop by before your rehearsal tomorrow," he says, a new light glowing in his eyes. "I know you probably have your own performance prep to worry about, but having an audience to practice in front of would do us some good."
                          
I laugh. "I don't know how well that would go over. Styles didn't seem too pleased by me stopping by the last time."
                          
"He'll get over it," Liam tells me.
                          
And I wonder if Styles will actually get over it or he'll only voice his disapproval even more.
                          
"Plus, you weren't my girlfriend last time," Liam says, taking a step closer to me as he wraps his arms around my waist.
                          
I smile at him, placing my hands against his chest as we're now pressed against one another.
                          
"If he gives you any trouble then I'll happily put him in his place," he says, and then he leans down to kiss me once again.
                          
When we part I tell Liam that I'll come see him tomorrow after my anatomy class, and then we share a few more kisses before separating ways.
                          
I don't sleep that night as I imagine all of the things that could possibly go wrong when I show up at the rehearsal.