Chapter 26: Con #13

                                    

                                          


                          
Con #13 - That awkward space when things are starting to get back to normal
                          


                          


                          
Jared had been gone for almost a week now. He was supposed to come back earlier but more meetings came up. Of course I was bored and getting lonely because I've never really stayed by myself but this week apart gave me some time to think about a lot of things. One thing was for sure which was that I wanted our relationship to get better, to work. I didn't want to have trust issues out of this world and I wanted to stop getting jealous and being petty. Realistically, I knew it was going to be a challenge, but I wasn't going to give up. 
                          
Jared did everything for both of us. In a way, it was always him who initiated intimacy or started the process of resolving a fight. I wanted that to change too. So the first thing I wanted to do was to work on being sexy and learn how to flirt, which wasn't an easy thing for me to do. I didn't know what sexy was and I had never flirted with anyone in my life. It made me feel awkward, but thankfully, there was internet, and on the internet there was YouTube. 
                          
So this morning, well afternoon, when I woke up I had an agenda of things to do. I made roast chicken because Jared liked it and left it in the oven to cook. I washed the lingerie that Lola had gotten me so that I could surprise Jared when he got home today and then I went and sat by the computer to watch the YouTube tutorials on how to be sexy.
                          
I had gotten so consumed watching tutorial after tutorial that I didn't notice when Jared came. It was only when he cleared his throat that I turned around.
                          
"What is that you are watching?" He asked, looking amused.
                          
I quickly minimized the window and prayed to God that he didn't see. 
                          
"You're back early" I said, swaying from side to side on the chair. Now that he was actually here I didn't know what to do. I hadn't even bathed. I tried to remember what the tutorials said but my mind went blank. Great.
                          
"Didn't you miss me?" He asked. I couldn't read his expression.
                          
"Of course I did" It came out too quickly. I was starting to feel nervous.
                          
Jared moved closer to the chair I was sitting on. He was now standing directly in front of me and I could feel his warm breath on my forehead. I wasn't brave enough to look up, not yet.
                          
It felt like time was moving really slowly and I was starting to get hot. I finally worked up the courage to look up and his grey eyes met mine. I knew that this was the perfect moment and I should just throw caution to the wind but then doubt started creeping in. What if he didn't want to kiss me? He hadn't said he'd missed me back what if he'd been having the time of his life? What if...
                          
Jared pulled me into a hug and we stayed like that for little while. I could hear how fast his heart was beating and how hot his skin was getting and all the doubt left me. Maybe he did miss me too.
                          
"I'm tired. I haven't slept properly all week. I missed our bed" He pulled out of the embrace then but he didn't let go of my waist. My head was racing but I didn't know what to say. I was overthinking and overanalysing everything, as usual.
                          
"Is there food, I'm hungry" Jared asked.
                          
"Yeah! I made a chicken roast let me go get it for you" I said, a little too enthusiastically. 
                          
"Don't sweat it, let me do it. Do you mind taking my laptop to the bedroom, I have work to look at later"
                          
"Sure, I wanted to take a quick shower anyway" I said and quickly escaped before I embarrassed myself any further.