13.

                                    

                                          
I was still picking at my dinner when everyone else was already eating dessert in front of the television like every other American family. I couldn't swallow the food, no matter how hard I tried, my throat just blocked. Mom decided for this one time I wouldn't have to finish my dinner, "special circumstances" she called them. As if it was taboo to just say it was because Troye was in the hospital and it made me sick to my stomach. 
                          
She took my plate and brought it to the kitchen. I didn't move a muscle and stared at nothing. I heard how she threw my leftovers - the whole thing- in the trashcan. She sat down across from me. She took my hand in hers and squeezed it.
                          
'I'm proud of you' she stated, her voice was soft. I raised my eyebrows suprised. 
                          
'Oh.. Why..?'
                          
'The principal called, he told me what happened.' she explained. She tried to lock eyes with me but I just stared down at my feet because I could tell from the sound of her voice her eyes were welling up, and if I looked into them I would start crying too. And I didn't want to cry anymore. I needed to be strong for him. His mental support under all circumstances.
                          
'Oh..' I just uttered. I couldn't come up with a proper response. She sighed,
                          
I'm sorry I sent you to school Con, I should've known..' 
                          
'It's okay,' I assured her, 'I'm glad I went, so I could tell those assholes the truth' I looked at her and smiled. She smiled with me.
                          
'You know Con, you can still come to New York, to get your mind off things. I indeed overreacted, and things have changed since then' with those things she meant Troye. Or well, nothing changed, it was just discovered. I processed what she's said. I looked at her and slowly shook my head.
                          
'No.. I think I'm gonna stay back, to be there for Troye' I responded. Mom lightly nodded as she understood where I was coming from. If we could cancel and get our money back nobody would be going. I wanted to be there for him.
                          
'Wtf Con?! New York? You've been dreaming about going there since you were 3 years old.' Brandon exclaimed surprised, walking over to us. He looked at me with a frown on his face.
                          
I shrugged, 'maybe.. but Troye..'
                          
'Troye what? Yes it's awful but he's in good hands Con, he'd want you to go and have fun!' Nicoa chimed in, also coming over to us. Mom smiled at them, I think she genuinely wanted me to come with. But I had made my decision.
                          
'I don't think I could forgive myself if I went.' I stated, fumbling with my fingers.
                          
'Why?' Nicola asked, a puzzled expression on her face. She didn't understand. 
                          
'Because I care about him and I want to be there?' I replied, hoping she would leave me alone. But it's Nicola and she likes to know everything about every situation. 
                          
'Okay but why? Just a few days ago you hated him and now..'
                          
'I'm in love with him, yes, I know.' I admitted, giving into her attempts to get the truth out of me. Her jaw dropped, even though she saw it coming, she probably never thought I would admit it. 
                          
'I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened when we were away' I stated softly.
                          
'Con don't go there' Mom stated with a frown as she squeezed my hand again. 
                          
That's right, nobody wants to think of the worst but yet that's what we all silently do.
                          
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Greece is beautiful and thanks for 1k!!!!! (I forgot to say that and now it's almost at 1.5k so yeah thaaaankkk youuuu!!!! 
                          
Xo - J