Tw: sickness
For a while, Tyler's sickness stayed the same, but how he was acting and feeling didn't.
It scared Josh, it really did. He didn't know what to do or how to help. Everyday he would go through a list in his mind.
Talk to Tyler, comfort him, be there for him, ask him simple questions.
Eventually he would ask them so much, all he could do was ask himself "Have you asked these questions? Have you been sincere?"
He lost track of all the ones he'd ask and come up with new ones, trying to keep Tyler's mind off things.
One question he'd always come back to is "are you okay" which was probably asked about a dozen times a day.
"Josh, do you really have to keep asking the same one everyday." Tyler said dully, his head laying in Josh's lap and his eyes up at the ceiling.
"I just want to make sure you're alright. I care about you a lot, Tyler," Josh stared down at him. I love you. "I'm not trying to be lying to you."
Tyler nodded. He wrapped his hands around the back of Josh's neck and pulled him down into a kiss. He smiled, just for a second, then it flickered back to the blankness that had been there before.
Josh felt heartbroken. The small smile he showed disappeared as quickly as it had come. What if he was to never really feel happy again? How would he really be able to help then?
Tyler sat up and looked at Josh, slight pain on his face from the sudden movement.
"Are you okay?" Josh immediately asked.
"Again with that question." Tyler rasped.
"I'm just worried about you..."
I love you. I love you.
"Everyone is. That's all everyone ever is. Worried. Always worried. Why can't it be happy, frustrated, anything besides worried? I'm tired of hearing it. "
Josh stared at his hands. "I can be happy. I can be if you need me to be."
"Well, I do."
Josh nodded. "Then I will be. But, there's something more that I can be..." His heart was skipping beats. He was really trapped now and couldn't get out.
"And what would that be?" Tyler stared more intently, looking less blank and more eager.
Now.
"In love," Josh answered, watching Tyler's expression become confused, then understanding. "Tyler, I love you." The butterflies in his stomach wouldn't calm down and his heart wouldn't stop skipping.
Tyler sat there, frozen and not knowing what to do. He smiled a little, just barely, and focused on Josh. "Say it again..."
"I love you, Tyler." Josh said as Tyler moved in and pressed his lips against his'.
"Again..." He whispered, kissing the corner of his mouth.
Josh brought Tyler closer and whispered it back to him, over and over while Tyler repeatedly kissed him.
Seeing Tyler like this, happy and distracted, made him feel happy too.
The boys laid down a little while later, panting softly and shaking lightly.
Josh kissed Tyler's forehead. "I love you." He whispered, brushing his hair back with his fingers.
"I love you too," Tyler whispered back, his arm thrown across Josh's chest. He cleared his throat lightly, wincing a little at the pain in his throat and chest. "I sing of a greater love, and I've already found it."
He smiled. He really did. And that made Josh smile, his smile of teeth and tongue-biting.
"I've got an idea." Tyler said and he sat up. He reached into his jeans pocket for a pocket knife.
"Tyler-" Josh began to protest.
He chuckled lightly, sounding more like a wheeze than a laugh. "Just watch."
He began to carve into the wooden floor of the treehouse. When he blew the wood shavings away, what was left in the once smooth wood was a large capital "T."
Josh caught on and took the knife from Tyler, carving the letter "J" beside it. Tyler then took the knife back and carved a small heart in between the initials.
Both the boys sat back and admired their work. Josh wrapped an arm around Tyler's shoulders and brought him close.
"This place will always be ours." Tyler smiled, happy.
"Always." Josh answered back.
Always.
