deux

                                    

                                          
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=scd-uNNxgrU
                          
I ran out the house, down the steps at the front, and hurled myself into my car. 
                          
I drove. Fast as I could, out the drive, not looking back. Everything was blurry, my eyes hazed with tears, but I didn't let it distract me. I had to get away, before he could collect himself enough to follow me.  
                          
The car was silent, bar the hum of the engine, and I swear it began to drive me insane. Eyes sore and wide, I slammed my hand against the radio, praying for anything to fill the space that the silence left. 
                          
The song that came on was called I'll Be Good, by someone called Jaymes Young. 
                          
As the gentle song ran it's melody through my hair, I felt my heart rise up to my throat as my breaths became shallower and my eyes filled up. The words from the unfamiliar song filtered through my mind. 
                          
'I wasn't good, Josh. I wasn't good at all.' I mumbled, my hands clenched so tightly onto the steering wheel that the skin went paper white and my bones stood out tightly. 
                          
I left the radio on. I deserved it, I thought to myself. I deserve the reminder. 
                          
I drove for so long, in no direction, just aimlessly crossing miles and miles of road. 
                          
I arrived at a B&B, old and slightly run down. I checked in, saying as little as I could. When I got into my tiny room, the first thing I did was check Josh's Twitter. 
                          
@Zerkaa : What could I have done differently?
                          
I closed my eyes, finally able to properly cry. I woke up with a wet pillow and heartache, and a vow to finally be good. 
                          
~~