First Person

                                    

                                          
The position she and I were in was most uniquely unpleasant. I immediately stepped back, startled of Kawaii Chan's sudden appearance on the floor. I shook off the awkwardness walked around, in front of Kawaii Chan, offering her a hand. She refused. At this angle, I had finally gotten a good look of her face. She had been crying... hard. I felt my throat go cold again. She walked around me to the other side of her room, sitting in her bed, her back faced towards me as she stripped her feet of socks. 
"What do you need Zane?" Her question scared me. She didn't sound angry... or sad. She sounded like her giddy regular self. I walked a bit toward the bed. 
"I...I..." I no longer knew what to do. I had come up to her bedroom to apologize, but Kawaii Chan was acting like it didn't bother her a bit. Yet... I know she had been crying. It was obvious. She was bottling up her feelings. For some odd reason, I began to associate Kawaii Chan with Pinkie. I had recalled when her hair was no longer poofy... but sad... straight...and dull...much like Kawaii Chan. And I had been the cause of it.
"I came to apologize." I finally said. It wasn't helpful that I still couldn't see Kawaii Chan's face; since I still stood on the other side of the bed, her back still towards me. The window faced her, causing her shadow to loom over me. I walked around her bed and to her side patting the place beside her.
"Mind if I sit here?" Kawaii Chan just shrugged and I found myself uncomfortably sitting in the pink bed. I finally decided to get a decent view or her room. It was... interesting to say the least. Very Pink. Very... pinkie.... An image of a flat haired Pinkie yet again haunted and guilt tripped my head. I honestly didn't know what to do. I just sat there. So did she. No words, nothing. The air became more and more thick and I was searching for a silver lining.
"Kawaii Chan I'm sorry!" I said again. Kawaii Chan kept her head down as a small cracking voice said:
"It's okay..." She was crying. 
"I understand why you said...it." My heart was hit again. Not because she knew why I had said what I had said, but because yet again, she had identified herself in first person. I'm not going to lie. I was nearly going to piss my pants.
"But do you?" She started to ask me a question and I immediately turned my attention toward the Meifwa.
"Do you think the world's all bad?" That had hit hard, not going to deny it. Sure I had said the world was a pit of agony once with basically with no subtlety whatsoever, but for the Meifwa to know exactly how I had felt. And I had realized something. The world wasn't all bad.
"No." That was my final answer.
"Something's are good, like the pony show and...you." Kawaii Chan's lips curled a bit on the ends, and that's all I needed. She would be okay.
"My ships are good too!" She beamed. It hurt not to roll my eyes. And I decided to ask her another question. It was similar to earlier, but it probably wouldn't hold any suprises. I was going to make sure I washed my mouth out with soap.
"What makes you like ships so much Kawaii Chan?" I thought that question would do the job. I thought she would immediately go back to herself, squealing and fainting repeatedly about her ships. It didn't, but it was definitely was progress. She beamed a bit brighter wiping some tears from her eyes.
"I like when I see happiness, and love between two people." I hadn't meant to back track the progress of getting the old Kawaii Chan back, but I had been too curious. Curiosity didn't happen to me often, but when it did, it definitely took it's hold. I decide to ask another question. "Kawaii Chan, haven't you ever shipped yourself with someone?"
"Of course! But... then he and..." There I remembered. Michi. Michi and Mr. Pizza delivery guy, we're now a thing.
"He just- it wasn't his fault- it wasn't anyone's fault, umm..." I will admit: Michi was cute, but honestly, that was probably to make up for what a little piece of crap soul she had. 
"I like shipping..." Kawaii Chan said. The "I" stung yet again. She continued,
"It's... it's not as personal that way. You can't get hurt."