Chapter 21

                                    

                                          
GUYS I AM GOING TO ONE DIRECTIONS CONCERT TOMORROW NIGHT OMG I AM PROBABLY GOING TO WET MYSELF WHEN I SEE ZAYN BUT YEAH UM HERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER!
                          
Jalissa's POV:
                          
So Beau hasn't called me yet and I am really worried about him. I keep asking the boys what's wrong but they always answer with 'He just needs time to himself'. I don’t know if I have done anything wrong or something but it is killing me.
                          
"Jalissa Jai is here!" I hear mum call out from downstairs. Immediately I jump off my bed and run down our big spiral staircase taking two stairs at a time. I smile as I see Jai's scruffy dark hair and his chocolate brown eyes staring at me.
                          
"Hey," he smiles.
                          
"Hi," I reply.
                          
"I wanted to know if you wanted to chill?" Jai asks me.
                          
"Yeah sure come on," I motion to him to walk upstairs with me. He kindly slips off his white converse and follows me up my stairs into my room. Jai has never been in my room ever. Sure he has been in my house but I haven’t allowed him or any of the other boys but Beau in here.
                          
I walk in and hear Jai shut the door behind him then sit on my bed I turn around looking at him for an explanation, it is all I need right now.
                          
"Have I done something?" I ask him.
                          
"What no!" Jai replies looking at me with a puzzled look, "Why would you think that?"
                          
"Because he won't talk to me, at all," I answer him with tears in my eyes. I don’t know why but this is really getting to me.
                          
"Aw Jalissa," Jai says while he hops up and wraps his tense arms around me. I cry silently into his chest as he rocks me softly. "He just needs some time to himself, he is going through a lot," Jai says.
                          
"I could help him," I muffle into his chest.
                          
"He doesn't want help, it's Beau," Jai chuckles causing me to giggle a bit. That is just Beau, he wants to do everything himself.
                          
"Can I please see him?" I ask Jai with puppy dog eyes.
                          
"Why do you think I came over silly," he laughs pinching my cheeks. My face immediately lights up and I start jumping around the room.
                          
"Someone's keen," Jai winks. That's my Jai, always making things sexual.
                          
"Shut up," I laugh, "LET'S GO!" I pull Jai out of my room and down the stairs then out the front door to his house. I wait at the door as Jai walks at the speed of a turtle to let me in.
                          
"JAI!" I groan as he smirks quite pleased with himself that he has made me agitated.
                          
"JALISSA!" he groans in the same high pitched tone waving his arms about like an idiot. I shake my head as he lets me in and stampede my way to Beau's door. Without knocking I open it suddenly to find Beau on his bed playing with his iPhone.
                          
"Beau," I smile.
                          
"Hey baby," he smiles back softly. I run and jump on top of him showering him with hugs. I've missed his touch so much over the past few days. He looks up into my eyes and slowly plants a long kiss on my lips.
                          
"I'm sorry for the past few days, I've just been dealing with stuff," he apologises as I get off of him and lie down next to him.
                          
"It's okay, I was just worried about you," I reply.
                          
"I love you," he answers.
                          
"I love you too," I answer back with butterflies in my stomach. We lie in silence with me watching Beau scroll through twitter and him having his eyes glued to his phone.
                          
"Oh guess what," I say to him.
                          
"What?" he replies still looking at his phone.
                          
"I tried out for Kat's cheerleading team and I got in," I answer with a little enthusiasm.
                          
"Congratulations babe," he replies giving me a kiss on the nose. It is then when things start to get heated. I grasp Beau's hair lightly in between my fingers as he looks down at me. I bite my lip which I know turns him on and pull his face closer to mine. He looks at me surprised because I am never the one to be dominant but I guess his absence has brought out a different side of me.
                          
I slowly pull him closer leaving my lips lingering near his. His hot breath glides over my lips and his hands travel down to grip onto my waist. I then press my lips against his before lightly tracing his bottom lip with my tongue. Before I know it our tongues are fighting for dominance and our hands are exploring.
                          
"Beau," I moan softly as he kisses my neck. He knows to kiss my neck to bring me to my weakest. Leaving a trail of sweet kisses down my neck and along my collar bones he slowly starts to slip off my singlet. I slip off his shirt as well revealing his toned abs as I flip him over so I am on top. I look down at his perfect body admiring what I see but notice something just above his underwear band.
                          
Blood?
                          
I trace my hands down to it and pull back the band carefully making sure not to hurt him if it is blood. Pulling down the band I gasp as I see millions of tiny little cuts along his hips, I then look back to his  face which is full of sadness.
                          
"Did you do this?" I ask him with wide eyes. He slowly nods with tears forming in his eyes.
                          
"Why?" I find hard to get out.
                          
"A lot of reasons," he whispers whilst tears slowly slip out of his eyes and down his perfect face. Tears are now falling from my eyes as I realise something.
                          
These past few days my boyfriend has been hurting himself.
                          
I hop off him and sit beside him in shock, I never thought he would do that. It never crossed my mind, ever. Beau sits up and stares at me crying.
                          
"I'm sorry," he says quietly. I don’t say a word, I just hold him in my arms as he breaks down in front of me. He starts sobbing into my chest quietly as I rock him back and forth.
                          
"Please don’t leave me," he sobs.
                          
"Shh, I will always care for you, even if we're two worlds apart, I will always be there for you. I promise," I assure him. He breaks away from me and stares at me with his glassy emerald eyes.
                          
"I want to stop," he whispers.
                          
"I can help you, you just have to let me in," I whisper back. He nods at me and looks down at the now bleeding cuts.
                          
"What doesn’t kill you will scar," Beau says.
                          
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger," I correct him.
                          
"It will eventually kill you in the end, it always does," he states.
                          
"You just gotta live what you have left then don’t you?" I reply with a small smile.
                          
"Mm," Beau nods as he slips on his shirt and stands up, "Let's go do something, I need to take my mind off this."
                          
"Okay but promise me one thing Beau," I stop him before he can walk out of the room.
                          
"Anything for you," he replies.
                          
"If you ever want to do that to yourself again you call me, whatever time it is I don’t care, I will be straight over. I just need you to be safe and happy because if I lose you, I lose myself," I answer him.
                          
"I promise," he says holding out his pinky. I wrap my pinky around his and keep it there for a few seconds.
                          
"I love you, don’t forget that," I say to him. He turns around and starts to walk towards the door before saying one more thing.
                          
"I love you too, don’t forget that."
                          
 Sorry it took so long, I have been having a few problems at home but I am back now! 
                          
Please vote, comment a nice comment and you may get a dedication and follow/share. :) xx
                          
This weeks dedication goes to @mollayisnotonfire :) Comment and it could be you next chapter! ;)