Chapter 17

                                    

                                          
Dirk

                          
"You know the polite thing to do is answer the door," I said to Jane, who was staring at me wide-eyed as I continued to wipe my bleeding hand on the satin curtain of the window. "This may surprise you, but punching through windows isn't actually my favorite thing to do."
                          
She was speechless. I wanted to give her a hug, and I probably would have if I didn't think that would be weird. Luckily she spared me the awkwardness by coming over and hugging me herself.
                          
"I thought you were dead!" she said when she pulled away. She was crying tears of joy and looked happier than I had ever seen her. I couldn't help but smile a little.
                          
"Well I'm honestly not sure how I'm not," I said. She laughed. "Sorry I took so long."
                          
"Roxy and I were worried that you weren't coming! We felt so bad leaving you there, but we kind of had to. And a couple days after getting here, we sort of gave up," she said. Her grin was slowly turning into a half-hearted smile, like something was bothering her. My guess was she wanted to ask about Jake, but was too scared to hear the answer.
                          
"Where is Roxy?" I asked. Her face clouded over and her smile disappeared. 
                          
Oh no.
                          
"She... left to go hunting about a week ago... and she hasn't come back."
                          
I sighed. Great, more dead friends. 
                          
Somehow she could tell what I was thinking. "Don't worry, she's probably still alive! She might just be lost; you know how she is with directions!"
                          
I wasn't going to listen to her trying to make me feel better. The last time I tried to deny death it just made everything worse.
                          
"Don't bother with the optimism crap," I muttered. 
                          
Suddenly her sadness was replaced by fear. "What are you talking about?!"
                          
"You know she's gone; you just don't want to admit it."
                          
"We have no reason to believe that! Unless we see her dead we don't know for sure that it happened."
                          
"Whatever," I said. I didn't want to have this argument. I knew she couldn't change my mind and I knew I couldn't stop her from trying. I had so relieved to finally make it to the house after all this time. I felt like everything was going to be okay. Now I just felt stupid for thinking that. I should have known everything would only get worse.
                          
I leaned against the wall without saying another word. After a couple moments she finally worked up the courage to say what she had been wanting to say.
                          
"Where's Jake?" she asked nervously. I cringed before I could stop myself and looked at the floor. I didn't know what to say, but apparently that was all the confirmation Jane needed to know that something had gone horribly wrong.
                          
I didn't want to deal with this now. I shrugged, fidgeting with the straps on my backpack as I walked past her out the door. 
                          
As I turned and headed down the stairs, Jane shouted after me. "Where are you going!?" I didn't answer or turn around. "What happened to him?!" she cried out as I descended. My hand gripped the banister harder, my mind shutting down from the pain of her words bringing back a tidal wave of memories.
                          
She can tell what happened. I don't know why she's trying to make me say it.
                          
"Stop," I muttered, glancing behind me.
                          
Immediately her face paled and her voice shook as she asked again, very quietly this time, "Dirk. Where is Jake?"
                          
I stopped. I might as well tell her, maybe if I did she would stop asking.
                          
"He's dead."
                          
I didn't turn around to look at her, but I could tell she was in shock. I paused for a moment to see if she would say anything else. When she didn't, I started to go back downstairs, but before I could she spoke again.
                          
"D-dead or missing?" she asked.
                          
Of course. Of course she wasn't going to believe me. There was no reason for her not to, but apparently life just wanted me to have to relive this over and over and over again. Talking about it was the least thing I wanted to do right now, but the story came spilling out anyway.
                          
"We got split up on our way to the second store. He got pushed into the woods and I waited for him when I got there." That was when I realized that my free hand was clenched into a fist, my nails digging deeper into my hand with every word I bitterly spat out. "He came back covered in blood with a bite in his shoulder. Then he ran back the way he came so I wouldn't have to kill him when he died."
                          
Silence.
                          
"I saw the bite, Jane. He's dead."
                          
That was when I could hear her crying. But I didn't know how to console her, and I don't think I would have even if I did. Hearing her deal with her own pain only made mine seem more real. I walked downstairs quickly and went into the kitchen.
                          
"Dirk!"
                          
"What now?!" I grunted as I heaved my backpack up onto the kitchen table and began to unpack it.
                          
"You can't just tell me something that horrible and walk away!"
                          
Oh for crying out loud. "Well what do you want me to say?!" I went over to put some water bottles in the fridge and found out that she was running low on food. Great.
                          
"I- I don't know!"
                          
"Then there's nothing for me to say"
                          
She was sobbing. I did feel bad for not trying to help her, but like I said before, I really couldn't.
                          
"Just because you're upset about Jake doesn't mean you have to take it out on me!"
                          
"I'm not!" I shouted. "Maybe I just need some alone time or whatever."
                          
"You've been alone for days! If you didn't want to see me you shouldn't have come!"
                          
She was taking this all wrong. Then again, I wasn't really expressing myself properly. But I didn't care. "Maybe I shouldn't have," I said under my breath, but she heard me.
                          
"What?"
                          
"Nothing!" I had a headache and all I wanted now was the opposite of what I had come here for.
                          
"Dirk!"
                          
"Just shut up!"
                          
She didn't respond. Instead she turned around and went to the living room. "I'm going to bed," she said, letting the kitchen door swing shut behind her.
                          
My headache was only getting worse. My mind was spinning with a mixture of anger, sadness, and guilt. The obvious thing to do would have been to go to sleep too, but after the past couple of nights I didn't dare to so much as close my eyes. It wasn't until around 4 a.m. that I finally fell asleep.
                          
A/N: And now we start to wish that someone would just slap Dirk in the face already.