Chapter 2 - Lucinda's POV

                                    

                                          
I quickly typed the message, hiding my true feelings and personal information. I pound the logout button before any more responses, scared for what the other's might think or say to make me drift into tears again. 
                          
I eyeball the bright orange container again, sighing at the thought of blowing through two and a half bottles within the past twenty four hours. 
                          
I feel that I could contact my doctor about the newly found addiction to my Xanax medication, the little rectangles of snow that are the only thing that have calmed me. Bigglesworth continues to fly around the vacant home, daring not to enter my room.
                          
I keep the lights dimmed, not bothering to get the mail and the constant doorbells and knocking. I find comfort in only texting my cousin Hailey who is currently without parents either, living with her friends back and forth.
                          
The doorbell chimes through the corridor as I say burrowed in my room. Whoever it was left after one press making me glad for sparing my emotions. 
                          
I wait ten minutes before opening the door. I prepare to add whatever it is next to the piles of packages, homemade meals, and letters wishing me their condolences but to my surprise, I see a package from Amazon.
                          
Intrigued, I dive into it after slapping the door and find myself looking at something I wished I hadn't glanced at. 
                          
The picture frame glimmers as the image shows my father and I at my graduation, almost a year late. Tears threaten to spill out of my eyes as I throw the frame across the room as I listen to the glass shatter. I say crouched behind the door, leaning against the oak wood for comfort.
                          
I slowly crawl back to my room, my vision hazy from the Xanax. I crawl into another ball again, wondering if this is how Alyssa felt when Aiden died in my TV soap opera. I feel around for my childhood stuffed animal gifted to me by my dad, running my hands through the synthetic fur of the dalmatian plush.
                          
My vision focuses onto my desk where my laptop is pried open, as the flash of a new message displays on my screen.
                          
I compose myself as I walk to the screen as I see a message from Aphmau.
                          
~
                          
New Chat From: Empress_Aphmau  

                          
Lucy, I'm video chatting you. I have your number and I can tell
you need help.
                          
~
                          
After I process the words, my phone rings out of control as the sound echoes through my ear like a marching band. I cover my ears with my sweaty palms as I step near where my phone is.
                          
I answer Aphmau's phone, bracing myself for her face that I have never seen except on her Blingsta. 
                          
I press the answer button, wiping my eyes and uncovering my eardrums as the music has stopped. It takes a moment to process and clear up but it reveals Aphmau in what seems to be her room.
                          
It is very purple with hints of silver and black shining though. She has her glasses on as she focuses on her desk.
                          
She glares up to stare me in the eyes as she looks my face over. My drowsy, tired, and plain old messed up face processes in her young, naïve brain as her eyes widen.
                          
I look away, tears trilling down my neck.
                          
"D-Damn." She stutters from behind me. She coughs, as if to clear her throat as she continues. "Lucy... You can look at me."
                          
I turn to face her slowly, attempting to wipe the overflow of tears. I look at myself for the first time in a while through the reflection on the corner and find myself shocked as well.
                          
"Sorry you had to see me like this..." I sniff, worried for her reaction.
                          
"Lucy... Are you sure your okay? You seem more than just depressed and sad..."
                          
"I'm fine. I can take care of myself, Aph." I respond, careful with my word choice. "On top of the death, my favorite show is making my mind run wild."
                          
I manage a fake chuckle as she begins to smirk. She has a sense of worry still plastered on her face as she examines me.
                          
"Lucinda." She said. "Who exactly... Passed away?"
                          
I jerk my head to face the mesmerizing bottles again, as I struggle to keep my composure. 
                          
"My dad." I manage. I sniff my running nose as I whimper silently. I can tell she is deciding what to say but I end the conversation before her. "I... Have to go Aph. Bigglesworth needs to be fed and I have to pick up some stuff at the pharmacy and get a... checkup. Talk to you later."
                          
I shut off my phone as quickly as possible. The screen fades to black and reveals another reflection of my tear stained face that reads dazed, tired, depressed, and most importantly, not worthy. I scream as loud as possible as I slam my phone across the room, returning back to my frightening fetal position. I rock on my feet as I wait for the dark monsters to exit my struggling body as if it will ever end.
~