Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days, when our mama's sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out
Its like somebody flipped a switch and bam suddenly you have to stop being a child and daydreaming and having fun and being innocent, and you suddenly have to be responsible and organised and absolutely sure about what you want to achieve in this one little life you are given, and you feel like you are drowning in a neverending sea of questions which you dont know the answer to, and no matter how much you put it off you soon realise that you have to start making decisions now, decisions which will affect the rest of your life. There was a simpler time when my biggest decision was deciding what colour my hair tie would be in the morning or whether i wanted an apple or banana in my lunchbox
Being old sucks balls
There are so many different pressures coming from every single direction and sometimes you just feel so closed in that you want to concave and implode on yourself, like a blackhole or something, erasing yourself from the world because you know that not existing would be the easiest option
Kk this got real dark and im not depressed or anything, I JUST REALISED THAT I HATE RESPONSIBILITY AND IM NOT READY TO BE OLD AND MAKE GOOD DECISIONS ABOUT MY LIFE OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY AM I NOT 8 YEARS OLD ANYMORE
I just can't deal with all the noise in my head right now so i push it down and pretend like im calm and collected, that i know what direction i am going in
The truth is im so lost
Im having troubles with friends and thats not helping either. At least i have my boy to make me laugh and keep me sane. When you're feeling like this you need to lean on the people that make you feel the best.
Im hoping the fog will clear for me soon and i will finally get some clarity about this uncertain future of mine. If any of you are feeling like this send me a message, we can chat
Btw im sorry for the unexplained hiatus on shutter. You can probably tell that my mind has been occupied elsewhere lately
Ciao bella x
