Chapter 54; Elizabetta

                                    

                                          
Song: Nothing and Everything - Red

                          
The ride back to New York is much less eventful than the trip to my hometown.  Everyone is lost in their thoughts about the pending confrontation with the Kraang. Donatello is researching who knows what on his computer, while Raphael keeps making much more angry expressions than usual. Edmund is sitting down quietly, probably still trying to process what happened. Even Michelangelo isn't cracking many jokes.
                          
   No one is acting as strangely as Leonardo, however. He has fallen into a cold, dark silence. His face shows nothing but concentration. It's obvious a plan is unfolding itself in his mind.
                          
   The intense atmosphere doesn't fade when we arrive at the lair. We all get out of the vehicle in a lingering silence. None of us speaks until we're in the main room. But even then, we just give each other short goodnights before heading off to bed.
                          
   I don't go to sleep, however. I take a seat on the couch and stare into space. I see all of my thoughts spread out before me. I flip  through them one by one, slowly becoming overwhelmed by them.
                          
   Then, I start crying.
                          
   I bury my face in my hands to muffle my sobs. I don't want to wake the others up, but I can't cry silently. It's like my vocal chords are enhanced and demanding to be heard.
                          
   I am like this for a while, until footsteps make me jump out of my skin. Quickly wiping my tears away, I glance over my shoulder to see who's awake. It's Michelangelo.
                          
   His eye catches mine. "Why are you still awake?" he questions sleepily as he makes his way over.
                          
   I turn my face away, embarrassed at my breakdown. "I just couldn't sleep," I reply, and I silently scold myself when my voice quivers.
                          
   Michelangelo hears the break in my tone. He puts a finger to my chin and forces me to face him. His sky-blue eyes fill with worry when he sees my tear-stricken cheeks. "What's wrong?" he asks in shock.
                          
   I swallow hard as I feel hot tears fill my eyes once again. "I..." I don't know where to begin. My life is falling apart. I probably won't live through the fight against the Kraang and my father. If I don't, I'll never get to see Penelope again, or my beautiful small town. I won't get to be a waitress anymore. I won't live long enough to see the first snowfall of winter. But the worst part of it all, is that some of my best friends might die as well.
                          
   Now, how am I supposed to tell him all of that?
                          
   Michelangelo gives me big, round, sympathetic eyes. "Lizzy, you can tell me anything. I know I'm just a goof, but you're my best friend and I'm here for you," he says softly.
                          
   I take a shaky deep breath. Tears still stream down my cheeks as I answer him. "I just... I don't want to lose you, Mikey," I say hoarsely. "I don't want to lose any of you."
                          
   Michelangelo wraps an arm around me and rubs my shoulders. "You won't lose us, dudette! We're always gonna be here, even if we're not."
                          
   As confusing as it sounds, it comforts me a bit. But I'm not convinced, because the fear that made me leave them in the first place is haunting me once again. I don't want them to sacrifice themselves for me.
                          
   I look straight at Michelangelo, my vision blurry with emotion. "Mikey, you have to promise me you won't put my life before yours," I whisper.
                          
   Michelangelo blinks. He pauses for a long time before he finally speaks again. "I can't do that."
                          
   "No, Mikey." I struggle to keep my voice steady. "You have to. I'll protect myself while you protect your brothers." I can't hold back my tears, and I'm crying again. "You have to look out for your brothers, and only your brothers," I insist desperately. "I can't watch any of you give your lives for me."