Handle

                                    

                                          
Noah and I met on the balconies and we spoke- like old times I guess you could say- but this time around no silence was comfortable because with it lingered the undeniable presence of unsaid thoughts pleading to be mentioned. I was glad though, that Noah and I didn't give in to them- each of us silently choosing to preserve whatever remains of this. 
                          
That day was alright, and just before we called it a night, Noah asked to meet again. And I agreed. Eventually we fell back into routine and it was almost as if nothing had transpired- almost.
                          
"Hey." I step out onto my balcony barefoot and shiver as the cold cement shocks my skin.
                          
"Hey." Noah turns around, and it's then I realise he's on the phone.
                          
"Sorry." I quickly say as he pulls out one earphone. He shakes his head and holds up a finger asking me to wait.
                          
"Listen, come 'round later." Pause. "Yeah, I got to go." Pause. He glances at me quickly then looks away. "Cool." He hangs up.
                          
"Sorry, I didn't see you were on the phone."
                          
"It's just Ed, nothing important." He shrugs with a careless smile.
                          
"I think Ed would be very offended to hear that."
                          
"Let's keep it between us then." He winks as he wraps his earphones around his phone and shoves them into his board shorts pocket. I smile as I lean against the banister. Noah leaves his hand in his pocket and stand staring at me. "How was your day?"
                          
"Okay. Yours?"
                          
"About the same."
                          
"When do your exams start?"
                          
"Mid next week." I nod as he flattens out his tied back hair. "When's your Human Phys practice." He can't help bit smile as he brings it up.
                          
"Can you stop reminding me. I promise you I can't dread it more than I already am." Noah laughs and leans forward on his banister, creating a moment where the distance between our faces became immeasurable. I stay rooted, smile dimming as my eyes scan Noah's, before stepping back. Noah let's his head drop to look at the ground two levels down, masking his face before looking back up again.
                          
"Have you had lunch?" I can't help my confused smile at his abrupt change of topic.
                          
"No," I shake my head, and tug at my shirt sleeves, "I've been studying all day."
                          
"Wait here." Is all he says, as he walks back into his apartment and returns a couple of seconds later with an all too familiar greasy paper bag. "I stopped by Amu's earlier." He holds it out for me to take.
                          
"I'm good, I was going to make a wrap." Noah raises his eyebrows.
                          
"I thought we got past this last time." He rattles the bag in front of me, his persistence equal to the last time he insisted I take the falafel. "I actually bought them for you." I take the bag, balancing it on the banister, and fighting a blush as I bite my cheek.
                          
"Thanks."
                          
"Don't mention it." He doesn't say anything more as he just watches me play with the paper bag. HIs expression reminds me of what I've come to associate with him; calmness and tranquility, and though I doubt I'll ever be able to remain as 'cool' as Noah, I think he really has rubbed off on me. I can't help but smile to myself, as I relish in the feeling of happiness- it seems as though everything has been forgotten. Not that that's good, but I'll take it as it is for now.
                          
"Mate." Simultaneously, Noah and I snap to the sound of Ed's voice before he appears by the door of Noah's balcony. He freezes by the door, muttering something along the lines of "I have the shittest timing," before clearing his throat. 
                          
"I thought I said later" Noah says.
                          
"Yeah, well I was around." His answers are quick and to the point, his tone nothing like the humorous one I've come to recognize him by.
                          
"Come back later."
                          
"Can't." He glances at me, and Noah does the same. I take it as my queue to leave.
                          
"I'll talk to you later." I smile, earning a grin from Noah and just a stare from Ed, and I walk back into my apartment, closing the door behind me.
                          
It doesn't pass me that Ed seems off, and though I'm tempted to believe he's drunk, he doesn't quite cross me as the day-drinking type. No, he seemed frustrated, worried even, and not that I stereotyped him, but he doesn't look like the 'sensitive' kind.
                          
After a few minutes of turning it over in my head, I decide that he doesn't really concern me, and instead, I raid the fridge for some veggies to make a vegan wrap. I do so, and once it's prepared I go to add the falafel, only I don't find them on the kitchen counter. I go back to the fridge, I check the cupboards and even the oven and bin, but when I look across the living area, the paper bag catches my attention out on the balcony, having fallen from the banister where I left it, to the ground.
                          
I let out an irritated sigh at myself  as I head to the door. I only open it a fraction though, before I hear Noah's voice.
                          
"It has nothing to do with you."
                          
"Oh so you're using that card?" Ed scoffs. "Fuck up mate, I've known you your entire life. This isn't something just about you." It goes silent for a bit, and as the wind blows, the paper bag rustles. I should shut the door; I've done this before and what I heard only landed me in trouble- made me gullible enough to live in the moment and confess my feelings. I hesitate, hand tightening and loosening around the handle.
                          
"Listen-" Noah starts but is cut off by Ed.
                          
"No, you listen. You've got to be out of your fucking mind mate, if you're legit gonna do this." Noah doesn't speak and so Ed continues. "I'm not messing with you-"
                          
"Who cares though? No one will care, it doesn't affect them. So what?"
                          
"Bloody hell, Noah. So what? The freakin' news that's what. Have you not been watching or have you only got eyes for Miss balcony over." My eyes widen at his mention of me. What has anything they're talking about got to do with me?
                          
"This has nothing to do with her."
                          
"Right, okay." Ed agrees sarcastically. "So she pops up, yeah? And all of a sudden your having some sort of a fucking quarter life crisis."
                          
"I'm not having a crisis."
                          
"Whatever floats your boat." It's Noah's turn to scoff. "Get the idea out of your head. I'm your best mate, I'll get over it at some point, but your mum'll disown you."
                          
"It doesn't work like that." Noah says, followed by a chilling pause.
                          
"Straight up." Ed begins slowly. "Have you already done it?" Noah doesn't answer, and my heart jolts suddenly with realization.  'This is your chance' I think. 'Just tell him.' "You've done it. You blo-" Ed shut's up, running empty on words to say- probably insults as big as his surprise. 
                          
"I haven't." 
                          
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Dun dun..... what's going on? Who get's it? I'm pretty sure I made it obvious enough without actually saying what they're talking about, but if you don't get it, I'm sure the comments will give it away and if not, then the next chapter will be up soon! 
                          
Not long now :( 
                          
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