Masochist

                                    

                                          
Touch me,
Kiss me,
Leave bruises if you must.
Show me that you wanted me once.
Show me that I wasn't a choice at one point.
Let me taste you,
Savor the salt of your skin on my lips.
Let me remember the color of the sheets over us.
Bite me, 
Hurt me, 
Because it's easier to feel the marks than the heartbreak.
Let me remember the wind outside as we laid beside each other in the grass.
Cold as our hearts when we slowly destroyed our love.
Hurt me.
Leave me with an unforgettable memory.
                          
You're name is still on my lips.
Burning and scarring them with each syllable.
Shattering the already broken pieces of my heart.
I still refer to you as Justin,
But only because I can't bear to speak the word, "ex".
I avoid it like a slur. Like its some plague.
It's been a month and it's still incredibly hard.
I have to keep asking myself,
"What the heck did you do to me?"
How could you be causing a hurt of this magnitude? 
Please somebody  explain,
Because the not knowing,
And the missing you is driving me insane.