Marvin's P.O.V...
No. I'm not gonna let him get away from me like that. I need fucking answers. And I'm going to get them, whether Fredrick likes it or not. I'm not gonna lose him to some asshole. No, it can't end like this.
"Ugh." I said, walking back to my friends. I'm going to talk to him. I need to. "Hey, just forget about him." Elizabeth said. I couldn't. She knows I couldn't. So why did she say it? Why do people say many things, knowing they're not true? To make others feel better? Do they know that, the person that listens to that, knows it's not true?
Perhaps not. Or maybe the receiver, just wants, the one who said it, them to feel better as well. And that's where lies come from. Why am I thinking so much? It was just a simple statement. Shut up brain. Shut up.
I hate anxiety. It fucks me up. But I ran out of my pills. My parents never take me or have time to. They have the prescription. They told me I can't hold onto it because I could 'abuse' it. My parents are such assholes. They care about my brother more than me. Probably because he's not gay. What the fuck is so wrong with being gay? It's love. Why should we get hurt for being ourselves. Why do they hurt us? Why am I thinking again? Stop. Stop it.
"Marvin!" I heard someone yell. I snapped out of it. It was Yesenia. Elizabeth was sitting next to Rafael, talking to him. "Yeah?" I asked, after rubbing my face with my hands. My heart didn't stop though. It was beating so fast. "Are you okay? You looked really worried." She said, looking into my eyes.
"I need my pills. I ran out, but my parents won't take me to get more. My fucking brain doesn't shut up." I said, tugging onto my hair. She stared at me. "Doesn't Liz have some?" She asked, looking at her for a brief second.
"Elizabeth, what pills do you take for your anxiety?" I asked and she looked up at me. She pondered. "Uh, Ativan. Why? You need some?" She asked. Fuck. "Yeah, I need some but I take Xanax." I said.
"Why don't you go get some?" She asked me. Why do I rely on pills? Why can't I just do this myself? I did. But the person who made me not think so much was with that fucking dick. I didn't need them. But ever since he stopped talking to me because he was busy, I can't stop overthinking.
I was in love. Am. I am in love, not was. Because I still love him with every bit of my heart. I'm taking him back. I have to. This isn't how it's supposed to be. He loves me. I know he does. I just need to know why he's with Fredrick. And then, I'll maybe stop thinking so much about this.
"Marvin!" I snapped out of it again. "What?" I asked. I n-no stop. I need to stop thinking. "Why don't you get some?" Yesenia asked. Repeating the same question Elizabeth had asked me. "My parents have my prescription!" I said, loudly. I felt frustrated. Probably because I'm thinking so much.
...
Here I go. This can either go good or bad. He will either say to fuck off or to forgive him. Wait, why would he say that? Ugh. Whatever. I knocked multiple times.
The doorknob twisted and the door was pulled back. Alexander stood there, staring at me. "We need to t-" He cut me off. "No, we don't." Was he really doing this to me? "Yes we do. Why did you leave me? Why didn't you tell me? Why did you do this to me?" I asked. I needed him so bad.
Staring at him made me want to be in his arms. I wanted him to hold me. "Because Fredrick." Is all he said. He gulped. I needed him. "What? What did he do? Tell me. You d-" He cut me off again.
"We're in a relationship." With who? Him or me? He needs to be specific. "Run away with me." I said. He didn't speak. I could hear him breathing heavily. "Please, we could be happy. You know that I l-" I cut myself off. I can't tell him that I love him. I can't do it. I'm already going to cry.
"You what?" He asked. He brought his hand, under my chin. Lifting it up with one finger. "You what?" He asked again. I didn't want to tell him. I need to. Maybe this could fix everything. "I love you." I whispered, so quietly. His eyes showed something. I didn't know what it was.
"Marvin." He said. I loved the way he said my name. I loved the way his voice rang in my ears. It wasn't like a song. It was just- his voice was amazing. "Yes?" I asked, leaning closer to him.
"I can't run away. Can we wait until high school is over? We only have a few few weeks left. Please." He said. I didn't want to. I wanted to leave now. "Ale-" he pressed his lips on mine.
"I'll explain everything soon. I promise. Prom, on prom night I'll tell you everything. Please be there. I can't talk to you right now. Fredrick is here." He said.
"Who's at the door?" I heard. "Bye." He whispered. He slammed the door. "Nobody!" He yelled. I walked away. He does love me. I sighed in relief. I walked to my car and got inside. He does love me.
I need to wait. Just 6-7 weeks. This is exciting. He's going to run away with me. He does love me. And I do love him. It's not safe to be addicted to someone, but it makes you feel alright. Maybe that's why drugs are illegal. Because they want you to live in reality. Yeah..
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Fredrick, kys. DIE DIE DIE. okay, lmao. vote. I wanna do a character ask. I'll make one after I end this book (I'll let you know when the ending comes)
