|||Chapter 19|||

                                    

                                          
Dear Brock
                          
I don't like hospitals... I don't like you being in one either... 
                          
Love Renee
*** 
Brock's POV 
                          
'I'm ready to give up...' I thought yo myself as pain touched every inch of my body. 
                          
Everything on the inside and outside was in pure agony. The smallest things such as breathing became more difficult with every passing second. I couldn't even open my eyes for Christ sake. 
                          
"God damn it these places are cold." I heard a voice say and the sound of my door opening and closing. Just by that one sentence I could tell I wasn't one of the doctors or nurses that are constantly going in and out of the room. 
                          
"Brock." The voice said and I recognize it as Dean, "Damn man..." 
                          
"Can you talk back to me?" He asked and as bad as I wanted to respond, I didn't, "I take that as a no. That's ok man, you don't have to talk. I can talk. I like to talk." 
                          
"You got everybody worried about you man." He said to me, "Like when I say everybody, I mean everybody. You should see the waiting room right now. I swear, all of the locker room is in there. Even like, Ro and Seth. They feel bad. Seth looks like he's gonna cry sometimes, but you know, I'm always there's for the little sellout to cry on and stuff." 
                          
"I kinda wish you could talk back to me though." He said, "This makes me sound crazy. Like I'm talking to myself, like I belong in a Asylum or something. I'm really not even suppose to be back here y'know. I just, you know, came back here cause I felt like seeing you." 
                          
I wanted to laugh but I couldn't even do that, 
                          
"I know you would have laughed at that." He said with a small laugh, "You laugh at the small things even if they aren't the funniest thing in the world." 
                          
I actually attempted to laugh at this but it turned out wrong as everything in my body ignited into a unexplainable pain. 
                          
"Take it easy man." He said to me, "Don't try to do anything too sudden ok? I want to hear this machine beep for as long as it can. Even though it's like, more annoying than one of Bo's 'inspirational' speeches." 
                          
I heard a beep, then him sigh heavily. 
                          
"She knows I'm back here." Dean said to me, "She's worried as hell man. You've been here for what? Four hours now? She hasn't slept a wink, or even left this floor. She's cried a river longer than the Nile man." 
                          
"You don't know how much she loves you man." He said to me, "Like seriously, sometimes I got jealous of you two cause your seriously like a match made in Heaven. I looked at you two and I saw what everyone wants and that pure love. Everyone could see it man. But they hated seeing it because they wanted it. I was glad you two were happy." 
                          
'Renee...' I think to myself. Besides from God himself, I believe that the only reason I'm still fighting right now is for her. I want to see her again, I want to hug her again. I want to be with her... But I couldn't... And I really don't think I ever will again... 
                          
I knew I had messed it all up. I knew for a fact that was our last conversation. It broke my heart that it ended in an argument, but that's how it had ended. 
                          
"Dean." I say to him and I felt like I could have left right there. 
                          
"Man just take it easy." He said to me, "Don't worry about talking-" 
                          
"I need you to promise me something." I say to him as quickly as I could and the short sentence made me breathless and dizzy. 
                          
"Anything for you." Dean said back, "You name it Brock." 
                          
"Take care of Renee." I say to him and my breathing became heavier and heavier by the second. 
                          
He remained silent for a moment then I felt his hand grip mine. 
                          
"Come on man." He said to me, "Don't give up on us." 
                          
"No," I say to him and found the strength to open my eyes to look at him,"Can you do what I asked?" 
                          
"I'm not you Brock..." He said to me, "What if I can't take care of you like you would. What if I can't-" 
                          
"You'll do fine." I say while giving him a weak smile, "I trust you." 
                          
He tried his best to give me a smile back but his eyes lacked confidence. 
                          
"I'll do my best." He said to me softly as he gripped my hand tighter, "She loves you Brock. Know that." 
                          
"Tell her." I say as my eyelids began to get heavy, "That I love.. I love her too." 
                          
I felt him grip my hand one final time before I slipped into the most peaceful unconsciousness I had ever had.