Daniel - Chapter 23

                                    

                                          
I left the very person who is the most important one in my own life. And for what? Just trying to figure out things that I should do the moment he knows what I've been doing last week. I just can't stand how he cares for me like this, even though I've been such an unfaithful boyfriend. He doesn't want me to fall to pieces. Every time I'm about to fall, he is there, picking me up letting me know that i have to be strong for the both of us. But how can be so strong enough if I always depend on  him? 
                          
Instead of going to school after I left him on his car, I took another route back to my house. I'm not in the mood right now to sit beside him and act like everything is fine when it's not. He will just try to comfort me, making me feel better. I don't want to feel better right now. I want to fall, fall towards the deepest parts of me that I could never get myself out of it and wait until such time I'm ready. But who's gonna be there to take me out of that part of me? All I know is that Jake will be there, always. But what if he will not be there? I might just have to stay there.
                          
I continued walking not looking what's ahead of me. I don't care what or I bump into. Before I know it, I bumped into somebody. We both fell on the side walk. I can feel my bottom still in pain after what Jake and I did earlier and the fall just add too much to it. Before I could help myself up, someone hold on to my waist and pulled me up. "You should be looking on where your walking. Not a very usual thing for you."
                          
I turned around, only to find out that it was Kean I bumped into. "Uhm, yeah. Look, I'm sorry and just act like this never happened." But there is something in me that doesn't want to move away from him. It's  awkward though. I don't know what to do, yet I feel a bit light right now when I saw him. I stared at him closely and after a while rain started to pour. "Better take shelter now." He grabs my hands and pulls me in the shed.
                          
I wonder, why is it that whenever I feel not so myself, he always shows up and the rain would pour. Is this some sort of magic? "Put on my jacket. I know you will shiver a lot and I'm not so good at first aid." He hands me over his jacket and I put it on. "So, why are you walking the opposite way? I mean we have class and, yeah, so why?" 
                          
"I just wanted to be alone for a moment. I'm in no mood to go to school and mess myself up." I sat on the corner and soon, he sat beside me. I think I'm feeling comfortable now. But, how about Jake? I know he feels hurt right now, but what am I doing? I'm not comforting him. I'm not there to say 'Hey, it's alright. We'll be fine'. Instead I'm here with someone, I just met and made myself better. How selfish can I get?
                          
I got up from where we're sitting and picked my bag up. I don't want anyone to see us right now. "I-uh, better leave now." He had a quick grab on my hand and I fell on top of him. "Sorry, I just wanted to tell you something."
                          
"I'm sorry Kean, I got no time for this. Just text me alright?" I stood up and started walking in the rain. 
                          
"Don't leave me Daniel." I continued walking. What's going on? "Daniel, please don't leave me. I love you."
                          
I looked back at him, "What did you just say?" My heart beats faster, like it was racing something. I stood there with a shock on my whole body.  "You can't love me. I have a boyfriend and I love him."
                          
"But why aren't you with him right now, snuggling?! Huh?!"
                          
I ran towards him and slapped him on his face. "How dare you! You have no right to question me like that!" He fell on his knees and started crying. The rain even poured harder. I knelt on his side. "I'm sorry. I was just shocked of what you said to me. To be honest I like you too. It's just that, this is wrong. I don't want to cheat on Jake. He loves me so much and I feel the same to him as well."
                          
He didn't respond to what I'm saying. He continued on crying and wouldn't calm down. I pulled his head up and kissed him on his lips. For some reason the kiss was not awkward. I don't get it. But as soon as I opened my eyes, Jake was standing right in front of me.