Chapter Seven

                                    

                                          
Chapter Seven
                          
The days turned grey and greyer towards the end of the school holidays. I wanted to so badly to see Lennox and hug him and have him hug me back and hear his voice again, but it was conflicted with the fear of him not feeling the same anymore.
                          
I was also partially mad at him for being such a dick - he had my number, he knew I was on postpaid, so it was difficult for me to text so much without raising my phone bill, but he could've called. The last two weeks of the holidays, I saw Facebook updates, but no messages, nothing. It was like I was out of his life completely.
                          
The relationship was never meant to be something serious, but fuck, this hurt.
                          
The day before school started I thought I was close to having an emotional break down. But hell, that was nothing compared to the first day of secondary.
                          
New life, new friends, new school, new attitude, new relationships, new personality, new everything. I was fine with change, because nothing stays the same, but sometimes I think Change hates me. Walking through Evergreen High, the secondary branch off from Evergreen Elementary, those were the thoughts going through my head. The thought of seeing Lennox was freaking me out, causing my heart to beat somewhat irregularly and my stomach to churn.
                          
I felt like throwing up but I distracted myself with waving at old friends that graduated from primary earlier. The school didn't feel like home yet, but at least I had a base in friends here.
                          
I reached the assembly hall and when I peeked inside, I wanted to turn around and run for my freaking life - and in this case, sanity. The girls - Mel and a couple of others - were giggling excitedly like maniacs, while the boys, which comprised of the person I wanted to see and avoid and his friends, were standing coolly to the side.
                          
I was about to disappear for a while to get my thoughts together when Mel saw me. The excited squeal cut through the rest of the noise and before I knew it, I was practically dragged into the hall to join them and disappear under several hugs and lose my hearing temporarily from too many 'OHMYGOD I MISSED YOU's.
                          
After I got out of all that, I chatted a while and slowly inched my way towards the boys. Ever so chubby, Aaron made a comment so stupid it wasn't even funny, but I ignored that. Shaun grinned at me and called my name but I practically  brushed him aside with a small wave. It was Lennox I couldn't take my eyes off.
                          
He looked the same - poker, pimple-covered (okay, maybe not covered, but there were a lot) face, intense eyes, toned arms...he was no different, physically at least. Emotionally...I had to find out.
                          
"Hey," I said softly, trying and managing a tiny, almost non-existent half-smile.
                          
He nudged my head in my direction without a word and my heart dropped at the notion. Damn.
                          
Not wanting to be next to him anymore, my suspicions confirmed, I made my way back to the girls, faking laughs, half-smiles, anything to show that I was okay, when inside, my heart was breaking.
                          
Why? What happened to us? What went wrong? The answers to that were clear as crystal, but I didn't want to believe them. I felt so broken, so empty, so hurt. And then I started asking myself whether the whole thing about the change in training schedule was a lie. Whether I screwed up. Whether he found someone else. Whether all that was just for fun. Whether he just...lost feelings. I don't know.
                          
When the bell rang, we gathered in groups to be sorted into classes. The teacher came out and began reading names off a slip of paper, class by class. My class was the last to be sorted, and most of us Evergreen Elementary were still unsorted.