January 6, 2000
Yesterday was a weird day. We had to gather in the auditorium for an assembly, and I saw a group of guys walk in. Tyler was with them! I wanted to run and hug him, but I couldn't get to the aisle, and I'm too shy to do that, anyway. It was really stupid in Science class, because we didn't talk at all.
It was just as much my fault as his - for some reason, I was being extremely shy. So Stacy, Gina, Maggie, and I did a spell to help me talk to Tyler, with basil and rosemary. It didn't really work, because I didn't really talk to Tyler that much today, either! [Well, I bet it at least smelled delicious.]
I did talk to him more than yesterday, though. He asked me to write him a note, so I did, but he didn't write back and that annoyed me. But James said Tyler just isn't the note-writing-without-a-reason type. Oh, well.
After school, I went over Shauna's house with Louis and James. The four of us hung out in her basement until 5:15, when my mom picked me up to go to my piano lesson. My mom was pissed because there was no parent at Shauna's house, so she grounded me from the phone and I can't go to the dance!
Anyway, Shauna's house was fun. We talked about weird things, like whether people make noise during sex and different types of sex - intimate sex versus "wild monkey sex," as Louis calls it. [Hey, whatever you're into.] I feel completely comfortable about Shauna and James, and now Louis too, I think.
Except something between me and James changed today. James usually has a girlfriend, and his most recent one was this girl named Laura who is kind of in our group of friends. So every time he said anything to me that might be considered flirting, he would just quickly add something about Laura to make up for it.
Like last night on the phone, we were talking about what I liked about myself. James said, "I bet you like your eyes. They stand out because they're so blue, and you have like, really long lashes, too. And your cheekbones... it's almost like you look too perfect. You're like a Barbie doll or something." I was speechless for a second, and then I said, "James! That is the nicest thing you've ever said to me! You're such a sweetheart." He laughed and said, "That's right I am - you know it!" Then he added, "Laura looks like a Barbie, too. Tell her I said that." I said I would, but I forgot.
Then today, Laura dumped him. [Probably because I forgot to tell her she looked like a Barbie.] Now that he's single, he doesn't need to watch what he says to me. At Shauna's, we were all sitting on the vibrating couch talking about how far I'd go with Tyler. Louis said, "Right now, do to James what you would do to Tyler." "Yeah," James said. "He won't get mad because I'll tell him I was pretending to be him." [Sound logic.] They were joking, of course, so we all laughed, but it was weird that James would say that.
Then when I got home, Tyler called! The day I got grounded from the phone! My mom gave me the message, even though she wouldn't allow me to call him back. He and I are exchanging Christmas gifts tomorrow, since he was away over Christmas. I got him the new KORN CD "Issues," and I'm going to give him two candy canes, too. I wonder what he got me!
YOU ARE READING
The UnSlut Project
Non-FictionI was the 6th-grade "slut." And I kept a diary. So I decided to create The UnSlut Project in the hopes that my own diary entries could provide some perspective to girls who currently feel trapped and ashamed. I am publishing these entries one at a...