22.0

                                    

                                          
"i don't know justin."
                          
justin and i  had been cuddling all day. we hadn't said much to each other, just enjoyed each others presence. i think we're both dreading to have the conversation, we should have. 
                          
we basically confessed our love to each other, what are we supposed to do now? i'm aware of the fact that we can't keep this 'friendship' on the low forever, but i'm not ready to get out there in the world. i know how the media is and how justin's fans react to girls he hangs out with. i love justin to pieces, but i don't want 'us' to go too fast. going too fast, will most definitely ruin everything and i don't want that. i want to enjoy the moments we have.
                          
i feel justin turn his head, he leaves a kiss on my hair. "what are you thinking about?" he asks.
                          
"us," i say in response. he lets out a sigh, knowing where this is headed. "why don't you want to go on tour with me?" we both sit up right, with our backs to my wall. 
                          
"it's not that i don't want to, it's just that-" i cut myself off and just look at my feet. "it's  just what?"
                          
i look at him. "i just don't know justin, i don't want us, whatever we are to go too fast." i let him know. "i can't just leave my life behind,  to on tour with you? what am i supposed to do when you're busy and i'm all alone?" i question him. 

                          
justin lets out a sigh once again, he turns his head to look at me. "jace, weren't you the one who wanted to travel the world, do things you'd never guess you would. take chances? well now is your chance, i don't get why you won't take it. school is obviously no the problem. is it your dad?" 
                          
when he asks that question i shut my eyes. "what is it?"
                          
"i just don't want to leave him alone," i say. 
                          
by this point justin had gotten up on his feet, standing in front of me. "i talked to your dad before i called you. he said that it would be a great opportunity for you. he wants you to be happy, babe." 
                          
i die inside when he calls me babe, but keep my cool on the outside. "i'm just scared, i don't know." 
                          
he takes place on the ground, between my legs. "babe, i'm not forcing you, you know that right," i nod in response. "i just want you to be close to me, and i want you to live your dream." 
                          
i basically just melted, why is he so fucking cute, i hate him. i can't keep myself from smiling, the feeling inside of me is indescribable. so without a second thought, i just go for it and kiss him. 
                          
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okay i seriously am not sure what to think of this chapter lol i am writing this in class because im really bored and suddenly had a lot of inspiration. i didn't prove read so if there are any mistake, im sorry.
                          
i'm seeing shawn mendes on sunday, i'm so nervous lmao.
                          
and for the 5sos fans between us, i'm also writing a michael clifford fanfic called netflixing, so if you could check that out as well! (:
                          
i hope you enjoyed reading this chapter!
                          
twitter: wondermxlum
                          
snapchat: dilaranergis & purposetourjb
                          
love you all lots xx