Ch 41

                                    

                                          
July 29, 2015.      
                          
I laid my head back against the car's headrest, my eyes shifting over to the two carseats at my sides
                          
The were both bundled in hospital blankets, their sleeping faces protected from the sun by the shade on their car seats  
                          
Since I'd left, I have visited them every day usually forcing one of the boys to partake in my daily activities 
                          
One month later and they're finally coming home
                          
I'm not ready, I don't think I will ever be ready to officially take in my responsibilities but duty calls and it yells very loudly
                          
My nerves have been a mess the whole day and right now there was nothing better to do than lock myself up in the room with the babies
                          
Of course that didn't happen
                          
A sigh slipped through my lips as I scanned the living room 
                          
My entire family, including the cousins were all here
                          
All except thou who shall not be named 
                          
Simultaneously everyone seemed rush over to the babies in Tanner's hand 
                          
Red alarms went off in my head, momma alert I'll call them. They signaled danger
                          
"Hey everyone!" I yelled standing in front of Tanner with my arms out, everyone hushed with giddy faces "one at a time and if you are sick please stay in the far corner of the room" 
                          
I helped Tanner get the babies into the twin bassinet in the corner of the room 
                          
Grandma came up to me, said nothing and put an archaic object in my hand
                          
"What's this?" I asked observing the camera
                          
"A camera" she replied looking at me with hopeful dark blue eyes
                          
"Yea, I know that" my hands turned it over a few more times "why is it in my hand?" 
                          
"Because I put it there" 
                          
I took a deep breath mentally counting to ten trying to regain my composure before it breaks and something regretful comes out
                          
I quit halfway through
                          
"I meant, why did you put it in My hand?" My hand ran through my knotted hair getting stuck in a few places 
                          
"Because it yours" she said rearranging her ivory bracelet 
                          
"No it's not" I told her, my eyes falling over to the twins
                          
Bryanne, my aunt, the one who came out of an abusive relationship was near them 
                          
My aunts and uncles were easily categorized
                          
To us Jenna was, WAS, crazy bitch
                          
My mom to everyone else, was crazy bitch
                          
Uncle Isaac, was categorized as well, even though he was our only uncle, he was Russian Wife
                          
"Yes it is...now" she came closer and put a hand on each of my shoulders "I'm giving it to you" 
                          
"No shit grandma" I felt like saying
                          
Instead I just pursed my lips and asked "why?" 
                          
"Because I remember when I had the twins, I couldn't stopped taking pictures
                          
I nodded, understanding but my hand reached into my pocket and came out with my phone in hand "thank you grandma, but this has a camera too"
                          
She huffed and let go of my shoulders, shaking her head in disapproval "tell me" she began, with the words I knew she would try to prove a point "would you rather have a boyfriend who only talks to you through text? Or one who only talks to you face to face?"