Chapter 30: I f**king hate him!

                                    

                                          
Andy's Pov: 
                          
Leaving is better for both of us, for her and me. She'll get a better job with her qualifications, make lots of money and marry some rich broker. And I'll go on making music and living my life. It's better this way. Even thought the more I tell myself the less sure I am on leaving her.  
                          
Being realistic I don't think I can bring myself to stay away from her. Even now  sitting at the base of the stairs to her apartment I want to race back up to her and devote my love to her. But this is the way it has to be. Our lives apart.
                          
I get up from the steps, finally making my decision. Only yesterday we were really happy and now she's no longer mine because of me. I think all along I knew I was going to have to let her go, if I hadn't left this week what's to say the next week, it was bound to happen. I have to think of her now as just a fling I had on tour, just another one of the girls. But how could I say that? She isn't like that, she's smart, beautiful even and I shouldn't  be angry, this wasn't her.  But if she had just agreed to coming on tour with me I wouldn't be walking up the street and out of her life. 
                          
I hail a cab and head to our hotel. 
                          
**
                          
Once I'm back in my room I turn to my window and see Andy hopping into a cab and it driving away. 
                          
And just like that the man of my dreams walks out of my life. 
                          
After an hour of broken tears, telling Tayla everything, leaving a ridiculous amount of missed calls on Andy's phone before I finally realised he wasn't going to run back through the door and beg my forgiveness. It wasn't happening in this world.
                          
I'm so tiered from today's drama I leave Tayla who actually is leaving  me and going out clubbing. My bed which is still a tangled mess from Andy and I brings back the best of feelings but also betrayal, he took my virginity then left. Our argument wasn't even that bad, we could have made it work, we could still be with each other keeping the other warm at night. 
                          
I crawl into bed and as my head hits the pillow, I'm already asleep. 
                          
Im in the alley again, but this time a dark faceless figure is over me, looming and terrifying. It rips my shirt open exposing me to the cold night air. My screams  are silent and I feel as though I'm choking. The figure forces himself onto me and I fail to fight it off. Light from the street lamp casts a beam of light over the alley and the face of the figure becomes apparent, his blue eyes holds the anger of seven hells blazing in hate, his black hair slicked back and a smile wicked and sickening. Andy pushes me back down, I scream before hitting my head on the wall of the alley. 
                          
Sweat is slick on my skin and I can't get over what I just saw, my dream so real, like it was Andy in the alley that night that he was hurting me.
                          
I roll over my alarm clock reads 3:00am, great. I have work, at my new job today, it's not till late but I still have to pick what to wear, something I shouldn't is usually what I stay away from. But hey live a little and see if it's a changed or the better. 
                          
I set an alarm for 9 then throw my face back into the pillow falling asleep almost instantly. 
                          
*
                          
A shrill repetitive thrumming is hurting my ears, I roll over bashing the alarm clock off a pull myself half asleep out of bed, with all the trauma yesterday I could sleep into next year and still be tiered. Actually even without the upset I could still sleep that long. 
                          
I slaughter into the kitchen to put the kettle on and find something nutritional instead of not eating at all. Every since I met Andy I've haven't really eaten, either I was always after him and forgot or just decided to skip it. Looking down at myself I even look skinnier, the last time I remember actually looking at myself properly was before Andy and I always had more meat on my bones than needed so what I was looking at was shocking but also welcome. I lifted my over sized shirt which Andy owned, a whole ton of memories washing back up, and I liked at my naked lower half. My hip bones have made an appearance as well as my rib cage. 
                          
Suddenly realising who much skinny I was literally made big ugly tears scream out my eyes and I ran for the fridge to find an sort of binge food I could, something fattening and unhealthy. The first thing which touched my hand was a chocolate bar. Perfect. 
                          
After violently eating about three rows of chocolate I turned to the now boiled kettle. Everything I touch slammed down making as much noise as possible. My hands shook as I poured the scalding water and therefore it spilt all over the bench ran to the edge and burnt my exposed bottom half of my leg. 
                          
"Mother fucker!!!" I screamed, at this point I don't give a fuck if we have neighbors.
                          
"Why the fuck l did you have to leave that way why, why.!" I weakly screamed between tears. 
                          
"I hate him so fucken much." I cried and eased my way to a sitting position on the floor, one hand grasping my now blistered agitated leg and the other gasping a piece of chocolate that I had in my hand, I felt it melt through my fingers.
                          
Florence your stronger than this, you can't do this to your self over a highly strung, gorgeous, sexy famous person. You said you'd would never be like this, crying over any man, now look at you crying on the floor like a child, but your no longer a child and it's time to put away childish things. 
                          
I heave myself off the floor after an amazing inner battle and finish pouring my coffee. 
                          
TVs looks inviting so I settle in for some morning news which I haven't even looked at since before Andy, the world could be at war a I probably wouldn't know. 
                          
Now the I think of it, the amount time I took away for myself for Andy Was scary, it was all for him, the short time we had. 
                          
**********************************
That's that! I gonna wrap this story up like sushi  and y'all gonna be mad. Hahah I feel evil I really do.  I can't believe it's been 30 chapters already! What a ride. 
                          
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Listening to~ Stevie nicks, edge of seventeen. 
                          
Keep reading and keep smiling everyone! 💀🌻💀🌻