15

                                    

                                          
If you grew up with nothing you do not believe in much. It's not like you do not want to. You just can not. There are certain people in your live who never leave you, for better or for worse, and others who just sell you out if the time is right. They let you down sooner or later.
                          
I have learned that. I remember those times I was younger when I trusted people and they broke me in two. They shattered and tore my heart and mind. I was so close to the edge... it was no surprise that I slipped. Falling from a normal household and life into the perks or being homeless at one second to another is something that may break you. Being left by your brother for drugs may break you. Begging for a few cents for food, burying all your dignity may break you. Being hit and spit on by the one person you have left probably breaks you. After everything went down for us, we were not as close anymore and Tony changed, falling away from me. And I survived on my own. Until I got into drugs too. After all, they broke me. It was not easy to learn to stand your point in a brutal and dirty world. To care for yourself because your family is gone. Neither was it easy to build up these walls around myself. They saved me every now and then, they make me keep going because I could not do it with people looking behind my facade. The world I grew into made me believe that there ain't no things like love or peace. It taught me about strength and darkness and the fact that you can loose everything in the blink of an eye. I grew up with anger and sadness in my guts, used to being let down and people walking over me. I knew I was a no good. Every time I seemed to be able to break those chains around my body, freeing myself and getting clean, I fucked up. I may not have ended up in alcohol, true. I ended up worse, sinking needles into my skin and pushing hallucinogens through my veins, pumping it through my body. I only hurt myself to feel anything. I went through so much shit and I never had anybody to turn to. Not just because I shut everyone out, but because let's be honest - who would have wanted an obvious junkie? It is nothing but a fact. 
                          
Still, there I stood. In Corey's hallway, his forehead leaned against mine, both of us breathing heavily. His fingertips caressed my cheeks and I felt how red they must have been, but I did not want to open my eyes. A comfortable silence fell over us the moment we broke the kiss, trying to catch our breath after what happened outside. We kissed. Damn, we kissed. But it was a good thing. It felt good, at least. I have never felt so much emotions through a kiss, I never even got why people would really do that. The times I kissed somebody it was not a big deal, it was simple. Though... this kiss was everything but simple. It tore my body apart and made me feel whole at the same time, I felt every single fiber in my body. My blood boiled and my stomach turned and this was not from the drugs. They had left my cycle hours ago and they were some chemicals stimulating my system. This was pure. It was real. This was the feeling of two worlds colliding. I felt Corey's warmth encasing me. Everywhere his hands found my skin it burned like he shot a thousand volts through my skin, even through my clothes. He still held me, his hands cupping my face and his thumb trailed down my cheek, my jaw line. His rough fingertips, touching my bottom lip. As much as I wanted to cherish this moment by absorbing all the things I felt, I could not hold myself back from opening my eyes. They felt heavier than normal, sedated like my whole body. The only thing I could concentrate on was Corey. Well, whom else? It was not for the first time that his eyes struck me. I guess I rambled about them more than enough. But right now they looked so deep into my soul, reached my darkest places and seemed to brighten every angle and bring light into every twisted corner in my head. Corey's eyes twitched from my eyes to my mouth and back up while his mouth jerked into a winning smile."Finally I see ya smilin' again. Saw somethin' you like?" he whispered and let out a small chuckle, his warm breath hitting my lips. I had not recognized my smile until he mentioned it, and though I felt quite stupid now it grew even wider. Gosh, I acted like I teenage girl. Not like that was something new around Corey. When I tried to speak my voice failed so I just nodded and blushed. I wanted to look away to stop myself from longing for his lips on mine again, but before I could really turn away his grip around my cheeks tightened and he searched for my eyes again."Don't," he whispered again, his head lowering to mine until his velvet lips met them again, intertwining until I deepened the kiss and it was nothing but a melee and I felt him grinning into the kiss before he broke it, leaning his head against mine for a second time. Still, I did not want to say a thing. I wasn't willing to break the magic yet, though I did not mind him speaking. His hoarse voice was angelic. Well, I did not want to break the moment, but my stomach decided otherwise when he grumbled loudly, bringing both of us back into reality. Sort of. Corey laughed and hugged me tight before he took a step back, shutting the frontdoor which was, though none of us noticed it before, wide open."Ah, something distracted me here," Corey mumbled and I chuckled, which made him smile again. He slammed said door shut and took my hand without hesitation, immediately sending butterflies through my stomach. I smiled shyly and looked down to the ground while Corey lead me through his house. Incapable of collecting my thoughts I was so busy that I did not even recognize him bringing me into an open wide room until he seated me on a black leather chair. Seemed like a kitchen that was not used regularly. But it's design was awesome. A black marble kitchen counter surrounded a white sink. A cooking island was in the middle of the room, the stove on it. Right hand was an oven and a frirdge and some cooking utensils. The cooking island was extended and merged into a dinner table with those leather chairs posed around. Adoring the kitchen and following my train of thoughts when I felt arms wrapped around me from behind. "Stop zoning out." he mumbled into my ear and kissed my cheek before he went over to the fridge and pulled out some cardboard box."Pizza?" Well, that was quite the change of subject.
                          


                          
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Again, Sorry for letting you guys wait for that long. But thanks to everyone who's reading this story so far, whether you vote /comment or not, it's just awesome to see that so many people are actually reading the chapters. So thanks, love you!
Cheers x