Chapter 26 Acceptance

                                    

                                          
Kate's POV
                          
My head is pounding and my entire body hurts. It literally feels like I have been hit by a truck. When I finally open my eyes, everything around me is a blur. Where am I? Did we win the game? Someone is talking but the words are not registering in my head. "Chr..Chris?" The voice sounds distant but familiar. It takes me a while to realize that it is my own. I am the one talking or trying to at least. When the words finally register in my head, it feels like all the air has vanished from the room. It can not be him. Why would he even be here? "Kate! You're awake! Wait... Don't move, I'll go get the doctor," he whisper-yells at me. I try to reach out and stop him from leaving but a sharp pain shoots through my body and I can not help the cry that escapes me. "Urghh... That really hurts!" I say with tears in my eyes. His face immediately fills with worry instead of relief. "No, Kate, don't move. Just lie back and I'll get someone to come and assist you. Please just stay still. Do you even remember what happened?" Images starts flashing through my mind and I remember the beating and my futile escape but I do not remember what happened at the game. I do not want him to know what happened, what will he think of me. I used to be strong, he knew the strong me, not the weak ass girl that I have become. Now, I am afraid to even breath without permission. I shake my head and even that tiny movement reminds me of all my injuries. I see him talking to a nurse when I open my eyes again. He grabs my hand in his when he returns and a familiar sensation washes over me. I almost feel safe again, almost. "Kate, you were at the soccer game-" "No. Please stop... I remember now... I am just not ready to talk about it. What are you even doing here?" I can not stop my tears as the last couple of years of feeling abandoned and betrayed flashes through my head. His head snaps up and his beautiful eyes meet mine. Immediately he starts rambling on about looking for me and how they never abandoned me. I am a bit sleepy but I really want to hear this so I force my eyes to stay open. When he finishes the story my mind is going crazy. They still care, they always cared. They looked for me. I ask him about the letter and he immediately tells me that it was fake. He does not even need an explanation, it is as if he already knew what I was going to ask. It takes a moment for everything that he said to sink in but when it does my heart skips a beat. I have always been loved. The revelation comes with its own pain. I could have contacted them and escaped. I could have grown up with my family. The door bursts open and Alice, Emma, Luke and Ellie runs into the room, followed by uncle Joe and the others. Alice and Emma engulf me in hugs. I think they forgot about my injured ribs but I try not to let my pain show and keep a neutral face. "You're awake!" Tears start to roll down my cheeks. This is what I have been missing all along, feeling loved. Michael and Jack ripped that away from me. They made me feel like shit every single day until that was all I knew. They made me fear waking up every morning. The two worlds are such a contrast. Even though I always remembered my family, I only now fully remember what I had lost all those years ago. I love these people and I needed them. "We missed you." The voice sounds familiar but deeper and I look up to see Luke staring at my broken body with the saddest eyes I have ever seen. I do not know how long I will be able to keep holding myself together. It feels like I might break down any second and I do not want to keep showing them what an utter disappointment I have become. They taught me to be strong and never give up but I was not strong and I gave up. I am not used to this, to being touched without fear and being loved, to not being afraid of letting people in. I get lost in my thoughts but luckily Christian is there to pull me back. "Are you okay?" He softly whispers to me and I only nod back. The lump in my throat is threatening to explode. I look over at Joe and Ellie and my heart constricts in pain, my parents finally came for me. I want to run to them but I really do not think that is a good idea considering the amount of pain I am in has doubled since waking up a couple of minutes ago. They walk over and hug me and fresh tears starts flowing, I can not stop them. I know the doctor has arrived but I only hear some of his words. "Fractured ribs" "fractured tibia" "fractured clavicle" "concussion" "she's lucky" "long road ahead" Ellie is rubbing my back in soothing circles while closely listening to what my doctor has to say. My entire body is shaking with sobs that I can not stop. Joe grabs my least injured hand tightly in his and a feeling of safety washes over me. When I finally stop crying and open my eyes, the doctor is nowhere to be seen and everyone in the room is silently watching me cry. "Don't worry baby, we are here now and I won't let anything bad happen to you again," uncle Joe says softly before kissing me on my forehead. His eyes looks tired and sad but I can also see fury in them when he scans my bruised face. "I am so sorry for not being there... I would do anything to change that," aunt Ellie says with a hoarse voice. I just nod and hug them tighter. Christian's parents finally breaks the crying marathon about half an hour later when they return with some food. Everyone must be hungry because from what I can tell it has been a long night. I look over and find Christian still staring at me, he has not taken his eyes off me since I opened my own. Mr and mrs Adams hand me some food and hug me. It is strange seeing them all here. Together like always. When I finally look down at my food, I find my old favorite, pancakes with bacon and syrup and I am immediately reminded of the fact that I have not eaten anything in a while. I dig in and finish everything in record time only to find the whole room staring openly at me. "Damn, Kate, that must be a new record." Luke saves me from the awkward moment. I give him a grateful smile and Emma hands me her food. "No, thanks. You also need to eat," I tell her even though I am still starving. "Kate, we can just go buy more food. It is no big deal," she reassures me, not knowing what a big deal a decent meal has become to me. I am too hungry to argue and slowly start eating hers, focusing on not finishing my second meal before the rest have finished their first. Afterwards Ellie tells everyone that I should get some rest and they should go freshen up. Panic takes over and my breathing becomes ragged. Christian is the first to notice and grabs my hand. "Kate, look at me. I will never leave you again, unless you ask me to. Okay? I will stay with you while they go home." His words immediately calms me down and my breathing returns to normal but we have already caught everyones attention and I can see the worry increase in their eyes. My cheeks are red from embarrassment. Alice, Emma and Luke also return to my side and Luke tells Ellie that they will all stay behind and then trade places with the adults later today. I am too relieved to care about having a panic attack in front of them. Luke switches on the TV and we comfortably sit and watch until I fall asleep again, like old times.