|Page 27|

                                    

                                          
1/8/16
                          
Dear diary,
                          
I just woke up suddenly. It's fucking 4:53 a.m.
                          
Crap... I don't even know what happened. Was that kiss a fucking dream or?... I mean I wrote it last night, so it has to be true. I didn't fucking imagine the whole thing... But, it didn't seem real.
                          
Just... right after our day out, and he was walking halfway to my house, I told him then and there when we were about to separate ways. The sun was already setting by this time and the snow had begun to fall.
                          
Like, you know, that shit that happens in movies! But it actually fucking happened.
                          
I told him I had liked him for a while and that maybe I had it since near when we first met. Jongdae just stared at me after my confession, and I didn't know what to do. I was anxious and scared at that point. I just wanted things to be okay. I even told him that it's fine to not mind it and that I can try to get over it for his sake. 
                          
But... he kissed me right on my lips.
                          
My heart is racing just remembering it. The way he had stepped forward, took my face in his cold hands, and just crashed his lips on mine... I was shocked. I could still feel his lips on mine. They were... a bit chapped but still soft, you know? It just felt very nice.
                          
Oh god, I think I'm about to explode. 
                          
That should've been his answer. That should've been the thing to tell me that he actually liked me back.
                          
But then, when he pulled away, he had a wild look in his eyes, like he couldn't believe what just happened. He stepped back, bared a smile, and told me he'll see me later before leaving. 
                          
Like, WHAT?
                          
What just happened right there? He didn't even say anything about the kiss after he fucking kissed me. Like, was it a damn pity kiss? Was he guilty after kissing me? That spur of the moment kind of shit? 
                          
I mean... He's still with Wendy, isn't he? So, did he technically cheat on her with me? Oh god, I don't want to be that person... I don't want to cause trouble. Oh my fucking god. Like, what am I supposed to do? Is he going to go to Wendy and tell her that we kissed? 
                          
What the fuck are you doing to me Kim Jongdae?