Chapter 15- Until your breathing stops forever, forever, forever

                                    

                                          
Waves crash against the pier, stars are sprinkled across the midnight sky. Nobody is awake in this black abyss of night. Bright eyes sparkle in the purple bushes at the roadside. A cat with no home. One man puts a foot in front of the other. He's never felt more alive. Ever. He's the last of his kind. Unique. Special. 
                          
Only he's not. He's the same as everybody else. He always thought that he was something special. He always wore a mask that hid his unoriginality. The makeup. The lyrics. The clothes. The lifestyle. 
                          
Drink after drink, he began to realise he didn't have a clue what he was doing. He had been stupid enough to let go of his life. He lost control. He had no family, no friends, no life, no love. A jigsaw not even half complete. He became a tornado spiralling. Spiralling out of control.  
                          
At the mouth of the pier was a road. A road that was empty besides one truck. The truck was moving fast. Fate could not be avoided. 
                          
Keep talking, keep walking.
                          
He whispered quietly beneath his breath. He didn't need to. There was nobody around to hear him. To hear hid words.
                          
And when the truck crashed into his side, splintering his ribs to shards, nobody was around to hear his final cry.
                          
Ryan's POV
                          
I was sweating all over, my covers cast aside. I couldn't fight hard enough to keep my eyes pinned open. The dream was horrific. My side ached, as though the metal that had killed me in slumber had been real. 
                          
I must have awoken Brendon with my raspy breaths and riveting around. He sat up in his seat, reaching over his hand to stroke hair from my face. 
                          
"Are you okay?" His smooth voice sliced thickly through the silence, cooling my hot skin. I nodded with a gulp and gave him a quick smile,
                          
"Bad- Bad dreams." I managed, holding my side inadvertently. 
                          
"Poor you. Don't go back to sleep. We can talk" He beamed excitedly, jumping to sit cross-legged on the foot of my bed. He gripped my hands tightly within his own, and shuffled himself closer, "Tell me about your dream..." He whispered. I shut my eyes with a shudder.
                          
"I-I died. I was alone and I was hit with a car. It felt so real, so- so lonely." I said, looking down at the ground. My hands fell limp in Brendon's.  
                          
He convinced me earlier that day to let him stay by my side. He explained that he had filed a divorce with Sarah. And he told me that he loved me. Straight after he said that he wouldn't let me die. Ever. 
                          
I was hit with so much news, so much knowledge, so quickly. I didn't know how to handle it all. I thought that I had convinced myself that I was over Brendon. But I guess not. 
                          
When my lips hit his, I was in heaven. He'd lied. That kiss must have killed me. My heart pounded so hard against my ribs that the monitor went mad. 
                          
I guess I wasn't sure where my relationship with Brendon stood. I knew how I felt about him. I knew how he felt about me. I didn't know if it was right. I didn't know how Sarah felt. I didn't know if I wanted more. 
                          
"Ryan, I told you that you're going to be okay. I promised you." Brendon rolled his eyes. How could he be so sure? 
                          
I knew I was going to die. Sooner or later. Brendon needed to realise that Technically, I'd killed myself. The alcohol and drugs had destroyed my insides. Completely. I was going to meet my maker at some point. The doctors had told me that I needed a donor. They'd also told me that I wasn't going to find a donor. But not in so many words. Donors were hard to come by. And even then, it was hard to find a perfect match. The doctors told me that I might as well just give up the ghost. Before it hurt. Before I went mad. 
                          
Brendon wouldn't let me,
                          
"But I will someday..." I sighed, but he brought up a hand to cup my chin. His large, deep eyes met mine. His full lips stretched to a smile.
                          
"Then I'm coming with you.."