Locked Up (45)

                                    

                                          
Click Click Click Click
                          
Your pair of keys are thrown into a nearby decorative bowl of marbles. The door slams shut letting out a loud thud as it locks from behind you. 
                          
Sofa.
                          
So soft and comfy. Cold from the air condition that had been on the whole day. Sitting down quickly, you take out your phone and delete the past few months of your life from the time you stepped foot onto South Korean land to present day and shut it off. Everything had to be erased, so that nothing would be able to hold you back in the future. You had one more week left. One more week to pull together. 
                          
--------------- Flashback
                          
Calmly, you take a stack of white papers filled with words that now seemed to just become blurs before you. Turning past the numerous pages, most would read in attempt to find mistakes. There was no use in you doing so. This whole trip was a mistake. Coming to Korea, training at a world class hospital, accepting Dr. MiGook as your resident, following her to ER duty, helping Jin, meeting Jimin; all was just a mistake. A mistake that you wished to erase from your memory. 
                          
Slowly scanning the paper you read the header of the page to make sure you had chosen the right one. 
                          
           I, ________, agree to transfer to Inje University Busan Paik Hospital from Seoul University's National Hospital to finish my training as an international intern. Upon finishing my internship at the IUBP hospital, I am guaranteed residency if I decide to continue my contract. 
                          
        Furthermore, I will agree to no longer be in contact with Mr. Park Jimin or any one of the members of BTS. If I do not abide by this contract, my visa as an international medical student will immediately be revoked. Additionally, Mr. Park Jimin's contract and activity with BTS will be either terminated or temporarily paused; will be further determined after review by the CEO of BigHit Entertainment. By signing below, I hereby agree to the above terms.
                          
--------------
                          
Foolish were you to choose his success over your love. It was too late to do anything now. Quietly you place your phone on your coffee table to be discarded later. Afraid to disturb the silence radiating throughout the house, you lay limp on the sofa and curl up into a ball, huddled for support against the sofa.
                          
For now, you just wanted to be alone. To be away from everyone, from every living being. That was your goal. It was simple, but every once of blood in you raved for him. To be able to smell his subtle cologne, to be able to feel his warmth against your skin was enough to send shivers down your spine every time. Now he couldn't come to you nor can you come to him and it drove every nerve in your body insane. 
                          
Night had fallen and still no movement. Jimin had not called to ask whether you were okay. He didn't care did he. Had he forgotten about the home cooked meal date that ya'll had promised each other just a few hours ago.
                          
Insane you went. Insane.
                          
Jimin hadn't called because you had locked him out. Shutting off any way for him to possibly contact you was what you had done. Jimin waited with his gut burning from worry, afraid that something might have happened to his girlfriend in this foreign land she had only come to study, but the land had bargained for more without her knowing. He was unable to sit still and contacted any other person that might have been with you for the past few hours to search for you because he was afraid; afraid that he might have had lost you.
                          
Insane he went. Insane.
                          
You had forgotten that feeling of being the one that was abandoned in love. To love alone was horrifying, but for some reason you had forgotten. Now doing the same to Jimin without even realizing it. Just like Dylan had abandoned you a few years ago, you were doing the same to Jimin. Leaving him petrified in the night trying to find you.
                          
Knock Knock Knock
                          
The sound at the door frightened you. Silently you shut your eyes tightly and wait for it to stop.
                          
"(Y/N)!!! You better open up this door at this instant or I will just barge in no matter if you are ready or not! I know you're in their! You little coward! How dare you lay there!" Suzy's voice boomed through the room. She was a friend you know, but sometimes she was just like a mother.
                          
Still unable to think properly after laying like a log for over seven hours, you continued to stay in the same position you've been at.
                          
Click Click.
                          
Suzy opens the apartment door with her spare key and barges in with her loud clacking high heels. Her hair was no longer parted in the middle nicely like she always had it. She probably went through a lot of trouble to find you.
                          
Even though you could now clearly hear her voice coming closer to you, you were unable to move. Unable to do anything.
                          
"Gosh, look at you. How pathetic! Get up right now and I'll warm up some food for you. Come on."
                          
Suzy pulls you up from your tight huddle and kindly pushes your stray hairs away from your face. It had felt like months since you've seen her. She had been gone on a recent vacation and the guilt overwhelmed you knowing that you couldn't even pick her up from the airport. 
                          
"When did you get back?" You finally had pulled up enough energy to ask your friend a simple question.
                          
"I got back this morning, but didn't see you. I wouldn't have been worried and such because I was gonna come over tonight for a catch up anyways." Suzy, seeing that you've woken up a bit, went to go get a glass of warm water for you in the kitchen. She continues to explain.
                          
"I wasn't worried until you know who called me. He wouldn't stop bombarding me with questions that I didn't even understand. Did you know I listened to him talk for like ten minutes?" She chuckles before continuing. 
                          
"I put the pieces together and it seems like ya'll fought, huh? You should talk it out with him. He sounded he was about to die for a minute. (Sigh) Ya'll are so childish. I mean just work it out with him. It's not like an everyday thing where an idol falls for you. Jimin, he-"
                          
Suzy pauses right after saying Jimin's name as she notices a quiet sob coming from your side of the room. Immediately she sets down the cup of water onto a nearby table and runs towards you.
                          
"Oh dear. Look, look how pathetic you look! Gosh (Y/N). You need to stop crying or I'll start crying too. Oh god. What happened (Y/N)?"
                          
Suzy's arms wraps around your cold body. Unable to control your tears, you continued to cry, but this time you didn't want to be alone. You pull Suzy into a tight hug and burrow your face into her shoulder. 
                          
This whole time, you knew it would end with Jimin, but it finally hit you that it was your fault. This whole time you knew but it didn't hit you. 
                          
Being so blank minded this whole time didn't hurt you. You didn't feel much for the past seven hours. It was just you and the sofa. Now that Suzy had mentioned his name, it finally hit you.
                          
Snot and tears continued to stream down your face as you rubbed your face against Suzy's shirt. She, having being so motherly, begins to pat your tense back as she ignores her shirt being damped with your dirty snot and salty tears.
                          
Even though you were so thankful for Suzy, you deep down wished it was him. If he could just hold you tightly right now like he did when you were hurt. If he could tell you that he would love you. If he could just be here for you to see him. If he could. 
                          
-------------
                          
Another chapter is coming up today as well! Please anticipate!
                          
QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
                          
If it were you guys, would you choose to leave Jimin so that he could continue with his career or would you stay and risk him loosing it?
                          
(Honestly, I think I would leave. That doesn't mean I won't continue to support him and make sure he's always happy and healthy. I'm the kind of girl that believes in destiny and stuff so just because you break up now doesn't mean that it's over forever. I don't know. It's a hard decision but if this ever happens I'll decide for sure then haha!!)
                          
Once again! Thank you for reading my lovely WONTONS <3 Please don't forget to vote and comment!