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trigger warnings ||
• none
                          
a / n ; mine and @guardiangoddess 's shared oc appears at the end for abit so ;; heads up !! //   she's v minor so dont mind dont mind
                          
 
                          
» high school years
                          
they're in the same class yet again, and oikawa doesn't know whether to count his blessing or to punch holes in the wall. he sits by iwaizumi's side, eyes focused more on his sharp features rather than mathematic equations on the blackboard; iwaizumi doesn't realize, and oikawa is thankful for that.
                          
" hey, could you lend me a pen? "
                          
oikawa's mouth opens for a brief second, his brain instinctively tells him to shove his words down his throat, so he does. he nods silently, passing iwaizumi his blue ballpoint, and makes sure to keep his 'welcome' hidden on the tip of his toungue when iwaizumi expresses his gratitude.
                          
during lunch, oikawa cries on the toilet seat, the ink on his wrist not corresponding with iwaizumi's first words to him. he despises himself for hoping otherwise, but nevertheless resents fate more for its little trick on him.
                          
 
                          
iwaizumi is very, very frustrated.
                          
his popularity skyrocketed in aoba jousai; puberty further hitting him like a truck over the winter break, yet 16 years of searching for his soulmate amounted to nothing. he's turned down hundreds of confessions, his breath hitching for a spilt second before he realizes that he's about to shatter yet another girl's dreams. he feels guilty, as he gives his reason, as he slams the volleyball down to vent his pent up rage (at himself), as he walks by buildings pouring out neon lights on his way home.
                          
( he likes to wonder when he'll hear the words, 'hey, i admire you alot.' come out of some stranger's mouth. )
                          
 
                          
" hey, kae-chan. "
                          
miles away, the girl twirls her fingers around the phone cords, mentally preparing herself to lose precious time entertaining her friend.
                          
" yes, tooru? "
                          
" help me, " he's on the verge of tears, made evident by his sniffling and lightly trembling voice. kaede wants to turn him down, but the tinge of despair in his voice convinced her otherwise.
                          
" how can i help? "
                          
 
                          
that night, oikawa is careful not to trip over the cracked pavements as the wind blows brown strands into his face, his arms wrapped tightly around a stripped lilac bag, a bittersweet smile gracing his lips. he thinks about what he was going to do, he feels like a bad person but he couldn't have cared less; he's desperate, and in desperation people do unexplainably stupid things.
                          
 
                          
" are you sure about this ? "
                          
" trust me, i-i'm sure. "
                          
but kaede knows oikawa well enough to determine that he isn't sure at all, his little stutter giving everything away. she wants to offer her help, but at the end of the day all she could do is offer him false hope, watch him trudge back home as his shadow grow fuzzier and fuzzier.
                          
she attempts to figure out oikawa's motives later that night and fails pathetically.
                          
 
                          
a/n ; 
                          
i broke my pencil while doing art homework and i
                          
lots of love,
sharon🌿❄