I'm drowning in the flood

                                    

                                          
I'm sorry D: 
                          
Chapter 53
                          
It's been raining since you left me
                          
Now I'm drowning in the flood
                          
~ Always - Bon Jovi
                          
Lily kept sending me nervous and worried looks throughout the day. I understood that she was worried about me but did she have to be so obvious about it?
                          
"Nika," she started after Transfiguration.
                          
 "No," I interrupted her as I whirled around to give her my best glare. "Stop it. You're making it worse, Lily. I don't want to talk about -" I stopped. Lily didn't deserve me shouting at her. I closed my eyes for a brief moment, before I opened them again with renewed courage. "I'm sorry. I just don't want to talk," I finished in a small voice.
                          
Lily bit her lip for a second and nodded. "No boy talk," she agreed. "I like it better this way, you know. Hopefully I won't be hearing you moan his name in the middle of the night anymore either."
                          
I gave her a slight push. "That was once!" I protested.
                          
Lily gave me a knowing smirk.
                          
I stared at her, dumbfounded. "What? How many times did it happen then?"
                          
Lily hesitated for a second. "Well, a couple of times."
                          
I groaned loudly. "Who else heard?"
                          
She nudged me, and we started walking toward the Great Hall again. "Just me, Nika, don't worry. I'm a light sleeper."
                          
I knew that. It had been how she'd come to know about my nightmares too. How was it that I managed to keep so many secrets if I kept babbling about them in my sleep? For Merlin's sake, it was an absolute miracle that I was still alive.
                          
We were silent for a few moments. "I know I said we wouldn't talk about this," Lily started and I let my discontent be known by sighing loudly, "but I think you should tell him about Regulus."
                          
I shook my head. "I can't, Lily. Unbreakable Vow, remember?"
                          
Lily practically growled when she spoke again. "Oh, I remember. Do you remember how I thought it was a bad idea? I'm sorry to throw it in your face like this, Nika, but you should never have let it go that far and I shouldn't have helped!"
                          
I stopped in my tracks again and took her hand in mine. "I'm grateful that you helped us, Lily. I couldn't have asked anyone else."
                          
"Yes!" she finally said, throwing her hands in the air in a dramatic show of exasperation. It was then that I realized that I'd been wrong before. James and her would be a match made in heaven. She was a female version of Princess Prongs, and no, that sentence made no sense whatsoever now that I thought about it. "You could have asked Potter or, even better yet, you could have asked Sirius!"
                          
I was getting angrier by the minute. "Reg didn't want Sirius involved!"
                          
Lily looked ready to tear either mine or her hair out. "Reg," she finally spat, "is a teenager, like us. He should have gone to Dumbldore! And, besides, you may be bound by that Vow, but I am not. If you do not tell the boys, then I will. It's irresponsible to let a sixteen-year-old boy on the loose with that kind of information! What if he gets caught? What if he gets killed, Nika? How will you - How will we live with ourselves?" Tears appeared in Lily's eyes, and she tried to blink them away rapidly. "What if we knew there was something we could do to sway them from the path they were on, but we didn't? What if they are killed in the war? What if - What if I could help him?"