"Unfair how you'd celebrate mine with me, but I didn't do the same with you" "Its fine, cause I was with you at the time, so y'anno. It was a good birthday, 'specially the one last year." The darker lad chuckled, Niall felt the vibration of his chest and he smiled, turning slightly with furrowed brows; their lips dangerously close. "What happened last year?" The blonde asked, not really remembering past events when the present ones were way better. "We were on a school trip to the beach or something, and like always, you were partnered up with me. But I snuck you away from the group to go to the toilet but instead we just rolled around in the sand, had ice cream and went to the fair. Got into trouble afterwards, thats when the school started shipping 'Ziall' I guess" he shrugged, licking his lips while looking directly into Niall's crystal pools. At that moment Zayn declared to himself that this would be his cause of death, drowning in Niall's eyes, or just being with Niall in general.
                          
"Yeah, I remember that. Kept trying to scare me in the haunted house, kept tellin' you to fuck off" Niall laughed melodiously, not noticing that Zayn's head was closer than before "Never" he whispered, Niall stopped "What?" he said, a pair of warm lips colliding with his. The taste of mint and cigarettes, and earlier's pizza, in Zayn's mouth making Niall willingly kiss back, the movie long forgotten. 

They both knew this was wrong, they both hated themselves for it too. But they both didn't want to stop. 

Zayn flipped them over, Niall's pale ivory skin coming into view when he threw the boy's shirt off. Placing wet kisses all over his chest, Niall pulled him up once more, their lips moving together quickly, as if they couldn't get enough of each other. "Zayn" Niall moaned in a high pitched tone, his voice was laced with want as he tore the fabric off of Zayn's torso. "Fuck, Niall" he groaned, their hips jutting together in desperate need of friction. Niall bit his lip, pushing back the tears, here they were, doing it again. He looked back into Zayn's eyes which were staring right at him, obviously feeling the same thing but both boys' emotions were clouded with one thing. One thing thats always been blocking them from thinking correctly. Hunger. 

"Well," a voice said, it wasn't Niall's and it certainly wasn't Zayns. "I came here to surprise you," Perrie sniffled. "But the only person surprised right now is me.." She clutched the teddybear to her chest. Niall jumped off from under Zayn, scurrying towards his sister.  "No..nononono! Perrie!" Niall wailed, disappointed with both her, for coming back, and with himself, because he knew it was wrong, yet he made no effort. "I kind of believed you, Niall. And I trusted you. I thought you'd stop him from getting any further....but it turns out you're enjoying it just as much as he is." She blinked the tears, her black mascara streaming down her face as her voice wavered with each word. Zayn stood up, shirtless, in the middle of the living room, completely distraught. He looked back and fourth between the two. "I'm sorry, Pez" Niall whimpered, his eyes also covered with tears. "I'm sorry too, Ni" she replied, "Sorry for not believing you. Sorry for falling for somebody you loved first. Sorry for even being a burden in your life." She shook her head at herself "No. You're not a burden." Zayn and Niall both told her, but she shook her head, sobbing even more. She began to mutter things under her breath that the two boys didn't understand but they both knew that it was something horrible. "Don't cry, princess" Zayn whispered, Niall's heart sank to the pit of his stomach, he was talking to Perrie. Not him. "Fucking bastard" Niall growled, pulling on a shirt over his head, stomping out. His face fell even more when nobody came after him, he didn't mind though; it was clear who Zayn chose. Perrie. 

He wiped the snot with his sleeve, lip quivering once more when he realised that it was Zayn's shirt, and not his, his scent of minty cigarettes filling his nose as he walked out of the house completely. Refusing to even look back because he knows Perrie was in love with Zayn, she'll be able to forgive him. Zayn picked Perrie so it was clear to Niall that the feeling was mutual. "Stupid fucking prick." He sniffed, "Stupid fucking shithead" he kicked a rock, aggressively. "Stupid fucking asshole" his legs angrily making loud stomping noises onto the pavement, he swerved a right, not really knowing where he was going but as long as he was far away, he was happy. "Stupid. Fucking. Zayn." He whispered, but he knew who was really stupid here. Me. I'm the prick, the shithead and the asshole. He thought to himself as he dragged himself over to swing in a random park. Plopping himself down on the set as he began to sob, but Niall didn't get one thing. 

Why was he mad? Isn't this how it was supposed to end? No. It was supposed to end with Zayn and Perrie. The way it ended was Zayn and Perrie with a broken-hearted Niall. "You're a fucking idiot" he scolded himself, wiping away his tears with his sleeve again, his eyes stinging from the sore wetness that spilled, choked sobs escaping from his lip every second, throat beginning to hurt. "A stupid fucking idiot" his voice was scratchy and hoarse. Niall came to a conclusion whilst he weeped on the swing set. 

"If Zayn won't fuck off, I will." He sniffed, his plans for the future seemed good, the only way out, the only way to get away from all this. He was going to leave. He'll get a plane ticket, he'll stay in Mullingar with his grandparents, everyone here seemed to hate him anyway, nobody wanted him, which means nobody will stop him. 

The empty park seemed so desolate, so abandoned, but it wasn't. "Whats wrong?" The stranger said, she looked about his mother's age, kind eyes scanning over the distressed blonde's appearance.  She sat herself in the swing next to Niall's, moving back and fourth slowly, almost delicately. "O-Oh, n-nothing." He wiped his tears, beginning to get up but the lady stopped him. "No, stay. Whats wrong." Niall sat down next to her, the lady's face seemed to glow lightly in the light of the full moon. "Just a few problems, you know?" Niall forced a chuckle, noticing something similar about the women's face but he couldn't put his finger on it. "Oh, my dear. Is it boy problems?" The lady smiled. "H-How did you?" "Shh, its fine. Its not over" she soothed, her face glowing with joviality. "Wh-What do you mean?" Niall stuttered, facing her fully. She chuckled at him, looking up at the moon. "Its not over. If you love something let it go,  if it comes back to you, its yours." Niall shook his head at her words, he highly doubted that Zayn would come back to him, he didn't even run after him, he called Perrie 'princess' instead of Niall, that pretty much settled it. "You think he'll come back?" Niall questioned, noticing that her eyes twinkled brightly under the stars, her skin seeming very pale but glowing. "He won't come back" she stated bluntly, saddening Niall even more. "You will. You'll come back to him. You always come back to him. Because you'll starve, you'll starve yourself of him. And unknowingly, he'll starve himself of you too." She whispered, the wrinkles by her eyes crinkling as she smiled. "You're crazy, I'd never do that. I know too well that it'd make the situation worse." Niall shook his head, cheeks damp and beginning to dry from the cold breeze. "Oh, Niall! Don't be silly! Like I told you when you were little, it'll all get better in time." Niall scoffed silently, but wait..when I was little? "What do you–" she wasn't there anymore. Niall rolled his eyes, his brain already having hallucinations of things he would want to happen. He's had them all the time as a child, that lady was always with him when he was little and then she disappeared, Niall smiled when he realised that she came back. His old imaginary friend returning to him when he's at his saddest state. He looked at the moon "If only" he whispered, sighing to himself. 

-

Two weeks later

Niall shrugged his backpack over his shoulder, rolling his carry on luggage by his side. "Ni, are you sure about this?" Perrie bit her lip, uncertain. "Pez, its better for the both of us if I just leave. You know that." Niall smiled. 

He had been avoiding Zayn ever since that night, as soon as Maura came back, Niall told her that he needed to go live with his nana. She was taken aback with the sudden command and she asked what had happened, Niall only responding with a simple shake of his head "Me and Perrie are having a few problems" of course his mother rolled her eyes and said 'No' but she agreed once Niall said that he fell in love with her boyfriend and that he needed to move away. Like, now. Maura offered to go with him but Niall denied her suggestion, knowing that Perrie won't have anyone to come home to. Not unless you count Zayn that is. Perrie was given her last warning since she took a day off of the band for Zayn's birthday and since she didn't care at all, she had to say goodbye to her brother, it this was her last warning. 

"What about Zayn?" Perrie asked. "I don't care about him," Niall sighed, his voice cracking slightly. "All I care about right now is you, and you and him...belongtogether" he forced a smile, which Perrie fell for. "I Love you, Nialler" she wrapped his arms around his neck and giving him a slobbery kiss. Niall chuckled, its been a while. Then the unexpected happened, paparazzi started swarming the area. "Perrie!" "Perrie over here!" They all shouted. "Perrie, who's that? Is that your new boy toy? Is Zerrie over now?" One asked and Niall scowled, his sister shaking her head. "What the fuck? I'm her twin brother, you twat." Niall growled, Perrie pulling him back. The crowd gasped. "Yeah, thats right. He's my fucking brother. Now please, we've had a rough few weeks. Just leave us alone?" She pleaded, only to be ignored. Cameras flashed left and right, infuriating Niall even more, sympathising his sister who was close to tears he took a step closer to the group. "Can you please just leave for a second? Five minutes is all I'm asking for." He rose a hand and the people surprisingly agreed, dispersing into their own groups. "I'm sorry I fell in love with your boyfriend, Pez. I didn't mean for this to happen." Niall apologised, hugging his younger, by a few minutes, sister. "Its alright, Niall. We all make mistakes." She sighed, squeezing him back before pulling away. "Thats why I'm leaving, I want to forget. Tell mum I said goodbye." Niall smiled, pulling away. Their mother couldn't make it because she was convinced that if she witnessed Niall leaving, she'd never let him go. Niall agreed with her, knowing that he'd burst into tears. 

"Don't mean to sound like I'm excited for you to leave but I think you should because the paps could come back, any minute now." She chuckled, pushing the suitcase to his side. "How long you staying there for?" "Until I forget" Niall sighed, walking away, waving at her with a sad look. 

-

Its been a long time ever since that day. Niall wanted to laugh at that lady. Its been ages since they last saw each other. Its been ages since Niall has heard Zayn's voice. The woman was wrong, Niall never went back, Zayn never did either. It didn't even get better, it only got worse, Niall thought as he placed the magazine back on its stand. 'Zerrie date!' In bold white letters like it was three years before, this time, Zayn took her on a scooter, Niall snickered. He took me on a bike, he sneered jokingly. We fucked on a table and in the shower, Niall continued. He didn't hate his sister, it was the opposite actually. He just hated her for having the boy he loved. He sighed to himself, walking away, putting his hood up and his sunglasses on in the cold weather, his new home was nice. Life was nice. But it would be so much better if Zayn was here, with him. He cursed again, thoughts of Zayn plaguing his mind, but only one depressing memory remained in his head. One memory that stuck to his brain and won't get out. That unknown lady's words playing in his head like a mantra. 

If you love something, let it go. 

Niall loved Zayn, so he let him go. 

If it comes back to you, its yours. 

Zayn never came back, he wasn't Niall's' in the first place, he was Perrie's. 

Its not over. 

It is. Niall's accepted that fact. 

It'll all get better in time. 

It never did. 

Niall let out a deep breath as he began to walk through the crowded streets. He learned from that horrible experience, he learned that you can't always get what you want and he also learned that what feels good to do isn't always right.  But the most important lesson he learned was; 

You won't know whats good until you've lost it.

Zayn was the best, he was everything Niall ever wanted, everything Niall ever needed. The blonde only just realised on that one specific night where he lost him. He would always hate himself for not realising any sooner of his feelings for Zayn, he just wished that they can turn back time. He passed another shop that had another magazine on it, the same story with different words and layout. He chuckled to himself. 

Don't let his looks deceive you. 

Niall smiled sadly, shaking his head. Zayn's looks deceived him, Zayn's everything deceived him, his words, his touches, his actions. They were all just lies. Lies that he was so stupid to believe. Lies that he fell for. 

Just like he fell for Zayn. 

- 
A/N: I know what you're all gonna say.   
                          
"Oh my god Christelle I fucking hate you why the fuck would you even"  
                          
I'm sorry, but everything doesn't always have a happy ending. I wanted a really realistic ending to this story, and sometimes real endings aren't happy. Actually, most real endings aren't happy. Its so rare to find somebody perfect that we get lost in our thoughts about how great they make us feel and how much you love them. But little do people know that you could just think you feel that way. You don't really know how deceiving people really are. "I love you" could just mean three meaningless words to that person but it could mean a hell of a lot to you.   
                          
Be safe in love my beautiful friends, don't let people trick you. Don't fall for the bad people. Don't fall for those people that will lead you on. Sometimes people lead you on so far over the edge you want to end your life because to you it meant everything but to them it meant nothing. Just a little lesson I learnt from a few experiences, be careful who you fall for guys! And remember: Love hurts.   
                          
I love you guys, thanks for reading. 
                          
Theres a little hint in this chapter about the surprise — 20th July :D