eighteen *

                                    

                                          
Jonny's POV
                          
I got to his house, knocking on the door. I saw Chris open it faster than expected. "Hurry on in, Jay. I don't want people to see."
                          
Obeying his rules, I went in without question. I embraced him in a warming hug, smelling the scent of him that I so dearly adore. This was going to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
                          
He kissed me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "God, Jon. I missed you. What did they say about us?" he asked about my family, our foreheads touching. I sat my bags by the door, and took a seat on the recliner. He sat in the one across from me.
                          
I explained that bit of information to him, scared of how to tell him what I was just dying to say. We chatted about the sights and words exchanged between my father and I. He was curious of what I had done.
                          
When it got quiet a little bit, I leant over to his chair, kissing his lips. He pulled away, leading me to the couch instead. "Baby," he hovers over me, kissing my collarbone. I felt so hesitant to let him do anything else. I didn't want to stop him as he was like this; it would've been hard on me. 
                          
"Missed you." he mumbled in the crook of my neck. 
                          
Exactly when he went to entangle our hands together, he noticed something was wrong when I wouldn't respond with anything. He pulled away, "What's wrong, baby?"
                          
I sat up, moving everything around from the way it all was.
                          
"I have to tell you something." I say under my breath. I wouldn't dare look at him.
                          
"What is it?" he sounded deeply concerned about the topic. I couldn't see clearly, looking down and afraid to tell him. But it had to be done.
                          
"This is going to be hard for me to explain. But it's the way I feel." I start, "I love you. And I will always love you more than anything that exists. You leave me with nothing but happiness to know that I had at least something with you. It's always been a fantasy of mine to be with you since the day I first met you. It's hard to go a day without you. But I don't think you feel the same. It's just—I was there when nobody else was. And that made you so confused. It made you want to love me, but no matter what this shit comes to, it's just not going to work. I feel like I feel all of the love. I just want to feel loved by you. I don't."
                          
Chris sighed, "Jon. You have it all wrong. You're overthinking, once more. You need to realize that you were the one to open my eyes when you kissed me for that first time. It's like I was looking for someone to love whenever you were in front of me all along. I always had a bond with you stronger than no other. I felt different speaking to you other than—Will or something. I really love you. I feel so bad that you feel that I don't. I don't know what I can do to let you know I love you," he explained, his accent ringing thought my ears, "...except maybe this."
                          
He gets on one knee in front of me, opening his engagement ring box. It felt like the world around us didn't exist; like it was just Chris and I.
                          
"Jonny—I know it's not been ten years or more of our relationship. But in reality it doesn't matter though. What matters is that I feel like I should've known you for my whole life. That's why I'm saying this shit because I want to know you for the rest of it. You know I love you. What I feel in my heart is something I can't fake. We're giving equal amounts of love, Jay. And plus...I honestly try to picture a world where me and you go our separate paths. I really do. But all I see is you succeeding. There is no me going on. Do you understand that? I need you to be in my life, for about ninety more years. Please marry me. We can be together forever."
                          
Tears form in my eyes and I can't help but jump up to hug him. What an idiot I had made of myself. This man has it all mapped out, and he mapped it out with me by his side. Nothing would make me happier than to be with someone so loving and caring about everything that exists in the world like he. 
                          
"You know I will," I whisper, my tears wiping off on his cheek. He placed the ring on my finger, before speaking up, "Please don't cry."
                          
"I'm crying because I'm happy," I mumbled, trying to suck it up and take it like a man. It wasn't working. Tears just formed again and again, and it was all because I just couldn't believe that I was probably going to do the most important thing that could ever happen to us: marriage.
                          
He brushed his lips on mine, the scratch of his unshaved face itching me. Except I didn't mind. It was attractive on him. He now hovered over me like he always likes to do. It's my absolute favorite. I moan, entangling my fingers through his hair. He pulls off my shirt, and sighed in disbelief. "I just can't get over the fact that you're going to be mine. Forever. I'm so fucking lucky to have you; you really don't understand."
                          
"I'm lucky to have you, Chris," I cry out when he sucks on my skin. "God, there's so many marks on here from me. You just love it, huh Jay?" he asks, "You'll let me do whatever to you. That's so hot. So vulnerable to my touch, isn't that right?" 
                          
I nod as I undo my jeans, and he moans for the first time in ages. It's so sexy, deep and meaningful. "You dirty bastard. Fucking touch me already." I demand, feeling more sexual tension than ever before between us.
                          
He stops fumbling with my neck and mouth, moving down to my lower half. He pulls off my jeans the rest of the way, palming me. "So hard for me, huh baby?"
                          
My head fell back, "Please,"
                          
Finally he listened to me, smirking. He pulled the fabric off from between him and the place that needs attention most.
                          
He gets face to face with my size, taking it in his mouth. This is the first time I'd ever gotten sucked off, though I know how it works and what it is. 
                          
I don't pay attention to his face, just what he does. And what he did felt so needed for me. "Please; don't quit," I mutter. He mumbled a sign that clearly meant 'okay' and I let a whimper escape from my lips. 
                          
As he continues this reoccurring action, I kept getting closer and closer to my climax. "Uh—oh my god—I'm nearly there,"
                          
He doesn't let me have a second to catch my breath, but just keeps sucking me off even better by the time I release in his mouth. It takes a few seconds or so to get it all down. "Maybe one day, I'll let you go down on me. If you want." he winks wiping his mouth from and excess capacity of fluid that could have gotten out on mistake. 
                          
"It feels too good to take you instead of you fucking me, honestly. It feels so nice when you have me underneath you, going as deep inside of me as you can. It's so amazing." I coo in his ear, trying to express—in a dirtier way—that I love him taking control over me.
                          
"Damn, Jay. I don't think I can sleep tonight because of this," he points to the erection. "Can't you rub one out? I'm so tired," I say sarcastically. I wanted to play it off like I was just tired of having sex. I'm not though. 
                          
The thing with guys is, they never really get tired of sex. And there's two of us.
                          
So I don't think there will be a dry moment in our sex drives.