1 | Train Under Water

                                    

                                          
"I sing glory from my lowest " - Train Under Water
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I weaved through the crowded hallway as quickly as I could, keeping my head down. I couldn't let my gaze fall upon her. I didn't even want her to have to breathe the same air as me. I got to my locker in record time, and hurriedly took out everything I needed for my next class. I used my sleeve to softly close my locker, just in case she happened to touch it. Before I could turn to leave for English class, I heard an all too familiar laugh that made my heart sink.
"Look babe, your cheat sheet fairy for Spanish has arrived," Chris said in an amused voice, making me cringe. 
Chris is the most pathetic and disgusting person to ever walk this planet and I'm not just saying that because I'm madly in love with his girlfriend. Well, it plays a small part in my judgment, but he truly is a terrible boyfriend. I'm not even sure that he knows her actual name. All I've ever heard him call her is "babe."
I heard her sigh in relief and a huge smile instantly made its way onto my face. I loved doing little things to make her happy, even though what I'm doing is wrong. Honestly though, she would've failed Spanish without me and my cheat sheets. As long as no one finds out about what is going on, everybody is winning in this situation.
I lived out my five second high, then rushed to make my way to English so that I could get there before her. I sat in the back of the room, knowing that she will take her seat in the front. The further away from her I am, the less likely I am to infect her.
I pulled up the sleeves of my hoodie, running my hand over the gashes I had given myself. Every time I looked at her, guilt and self-loathing wormed its way into my chest which almost always translated into another scar on my wrist. I know deep, deep down inside that my worries are completely unreasonable and insane, but I couldn't help but think that my presence infects Sophia with my disease.
People started to fill the room, so I pulled down my sleeve.
I stared at the ground and waiting for her shoes to come into view. In any other case this would be extremely weird, but I spend my entire day staring at the ground to avoid making eye contact, so of course I'm going to know people's shoes better than I know their faces. A pair of light blue flats appeared, and a small blush bloomed across my cheeks. I am so whipped. I mean, really, I just blushed at a pair of shoes.
Eventually Mrs. Dean walked to the front of the class, clapping her hands loudly. "Class, may I have your attention please?!" She called out, making most of the class turn to face her, but I kept my head down. Not out of disrespect. Just to make sure my eyes didn't accidentally fall upon her.
"Thank you. Now that I have your attention, I can tell you that you have a project due next Friday." Most of the class let out a loud groan, but I stayed quiet. As long as it isn't a partner or group project, I will be perfectly fine. "It will be a partner project and no, you will not be choosing your partner."
You know Fate, that really wasn't necessary, I thought to myself as I let out an irritated sigh.
I'm not liked very much at all, by anyone. Everyone probably has their own reasons, but it's mainly because I am openly lesbian in a very homophobic school. When I came out in my freshman year I knew that it'd be pretty hard in the beginning, but back then I believed that eventually it was going to get better. However I'm still bullied to say the least. You'd think that I would've gotten used to it after three years, but that wasn't the case. 
As Mrs.Dean started to call out the pairs, I did my best to keep myself from having a full anxiety class in the middle of class. As long as I don't get her, then I can make it out of this project alive. When she finally got to my name, which was last, I began to think about who she hadn't called yet.