dick grayson x reader
specially for @Jet-The-Glacion92
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"hey, [Y/N], wanna go to the carnival with me later?"
you looked up. your best friend (also long-time crush), dick grayson, was smiling down at you.
"hm?" you shut your locker door. "uh, sure. what time?"
"how about i pick you up at eight?"
"yeah, that works. see you, then." you flashed him a smile before walking off to the carpark. you got in your car and sat there, turning on the engine. you gripped the wheel. how long before dick finds out? he would, definitely. it was just a matter of when. he always had a knack of sensing when something was wrong. and not to mention he'd persuade the answer out of you.
you sighed. you'd just have to do a better job at hiding it, then.
***
the house was empty when you arrived. dad was out at work — or maybe drinking out, who knows? — sister at the mall with her snobby friends and brother at an internet café wasting his money and energy on games like five nights at freddy's. you threw your shoes messily onto the front porch and stepped into your house, immediately going to your room. it was a safe haven to you — a place where you could be alone, do whatever you pleased, and no one ever bothered you. most of the time.
you flopped on the bed, staring at the mint green ceiling and the slow spin of the fan. the familiar sense of emptiness and hopelessness formed at the pit of your stomach. the feeling of dread soon followed. you felt like all hope was lost.
you knew you had depression. you knew it would get worse, but still, you didn't get help. the thought that if someone found out, if someone knew . . .
you couldn't let that happen. if they found out, who knew what they'd do?
life had been so shitty and fucked up since mum's demise. she was always there for you, cheering you on . . . she was your hero. and ever since her death the family just fell apart. dad became an alcoholic — it was the only way he could force away the pain, he says. your sister started coming home less, always opting to stay at her friend's whenever possible, because home reminded her too much of home. her brother distracted himself by binge-playing video games.
you loved her so much, now she's just . . . gone.
your chest constricted tightly and the tears started falling. "mum . . ." you croaked out. you pushed yourself off the bed, almost tripping. you wiped your face with the sleeve of your hoodie, stepping into your toilet. you fumbled around in your under-sink cabinet before finding what you wanted. you pulled your left sleeve back, revealing your pale left forearm — painted with scars. some were older and fainter, some were newer. you dragged the blade down, the skin getting torn and blood oozed out. some of the pain got relieved, but it wasn't enough.
***
"hey dick."
"hey, [Y/N]," dick greeted. his eyes flittered nervously to his phone screen, which was alit, and he frowned.
"something . . . wrong?" you asked, noticing his discomfort.
"no, just my father being . . . you know." he turned off his phone and slipped into his pocket. "are you sure you're gonna wear that hoodie? it's pretty humid out tonight."
