Chapter 34

                                    

                                          
The only way I could save myself right now was by complying. "Okay." I rasped.
Chris loosened his grip on my neck, and I gasped for air. He looked at me with a twisted sense of satisfaction, as if he had won some kind of battle. "Good girl," he said, running his fingers through my hair.
I felt dirty and ashamed that I had given in so easily to him. But the alternative was much worse. I couldn't believe this was really the man I loved, the man that wouldn't dare hurt a mosquito. That same man had just tried to choke me. What happened to the sweet guy that spent countless hours at my bedside when I got into that accident? Every single memory of him, of us was now tainted by the lunatic look on his face. This couldn't be my Chris. I was tempted to pinch myself, to try and wake up, but the pain on my neck felt way too real to be just a nightmare.
"Now," Chris said, pulling back, "now that we agree, you can finally get what you've always wanted. Me." 
A few months ago, his grin would have been the cutest thing ever to my eyes. Right now, it looked twisted and evil, a grimace of malice that made my skin crawl. How can someone change in a heartbeat like that? Or worse, how can someone put up such a deep façade that he can deceive you for years. 
I wouldn't go as far as saying he was always like that and lied to me, but something must have snapped in him, something must have changed him. Was it my fault? Did I do this to him? Did me leaving create the monster that was peeking through his intimidating look right now?
"If you always wanted us to be together, why didn't you ever say anything all these years?" I asked, but I wasn't really interested in the answer. There was nothing he could say that would undo the damage. I was merely trying to buy time, in hopes that Dylan or anybody would come in.
"Well, the truth is, I always knew we would never part." Chris shrugged, thankfully taking a step back, but still not far enough for me to make a run for it. "I just never realized what kind of together I wanted." For a moment, as he tilted his head, his smile seemed to return to that boyish and cute one I always loved. "Adam made me open my eyes. But more than anything, losing you for the first time truly made me realize what we've both always known."
"That is?" I eyed the kitchen door, hoping I could at least see a shadow, anything that could tell me if anyone was in there, but nothing. Did Dylan join my parents and Adam in the backyard? Was I truly hopeless? Now that Chris wasn't choking me, I could scream, but would that be enough?
I yelped when Chris pushed me against the wall, covering my body with his. His hands on my hips, he grazed my lips. "That all those nights spent sleeping cuddled to each other were wasted. We could have done many other things."
"Such as?" Again, I was desperately trying to buy time, making him talk sounded like a good way to stall.
Chris ran a hand through my hair. "You know what I mean." He gave me a quick kiss. "You know what you've always craved."
"I-I'm pregnant ..." I blurted out, unable to think of anything else that would deter him.
"I'm aware." He clenched his jaw. "But that's alright, there's an abortion clinic nearby. We can easily take care of it."
I recoiled at his words, feeling a sudden wave of nausea hit me. The idea of aborting the baby growing inside me made my heart heavy with regret and sadness. I could have aborted the moment I got the news, but I didn't, and I certainly couldn't now that I was past the first trimester. "I can't do that." I said softly, hoping to appeal to whatever shred of humanity was still alive in him.
He didn't seem phased by my plea. Instead, he chuckled dryly as if it were simply an inconvenience for him rather than a life. "We can make our own, don't worry." He claimed. "But you're not going to raise the child of a criminal."