dear stiles;

                                    

                                          
Dear Stiles,

                          
​I cannot seem to say these words out loud. To me, saying goodbye has always seemed so final. Life is crazy like that. People come in and out of your life; neither one is ever expected. And I have found, however, that some people will always come back to you — the ones meant to be in your life will return somewhere down the road. I may be leaving, but I will return to you Stiles Stilinski.
                          
​And by some strange Pheanix-destiny or some force of nature, you and I, we are two parts of the same whole — and it was only when I stepped back to look at the whole picture did I realize it. Pheanix's are Penguins, they mate for life...you're my Penguin, Stiles.
                          
​And I know this is going to be a long and difficult journey, but leaving is something that I must do. I was drowning for a long time and in drowning I found you, but I also lost apart of myself — and me leaving is me finding that part. You have shown me what love is and what it feels like to be loved; I could feel it when our hearts get so close that they are beating as one.
                          
​You are the beat of my heart, now, and I didn't realize it until now that I need you. You have brought life back to the part of me that had died when my family did. You are the person that I looked at when I needed to smile and you are the person I went to when I needed comforting. But while I'm gone, I will be leaving a piece of me with you at your side.
                          
​You have shown me how to live and you have shown me how to be truly happy. You have shown me that it's okay to move on — that they may be gone, but their memories still live on. You mean so much to me and I know that I mean so much to you, but, as I write this, I can't escape the fact that we're so young — so young and involved in such a dangerous world. And it is because we're young that life is a never-ending series of falls and recoveries. Stiles, you will make countless mistakes along the way, but it is all a part of us growing up.
                          
​And while I still have a chance — because my time for writing this is running out — you need to know that Allison's death is not your fault. None of things that happened during that time are your fault, Stiles.

                          
​Sincerely,
Caterina Hale