Four Years Earlier...
I was sitting in the car with my head resting against the frosty window. "Do I have to go to this?" I groaned.
"Yes," My mother answered sternly, her grip on the steering wheel tightening ever so slightly, "Patrick, you wrote your essay for English class about all the different ways you could kill yourself!"
I crossed my arms and mumbled, "I was having a bad week..."
"Bad week or not, you need to get help."
I rolled my eyes. I was so sick of hearing that fucking phrase. I didn't need help.
"Plus, I think talking to people who aren't me or your counselors about your problems will be good for you."
I was sick of hearing that too, that I had "problems". I didn't have "problems". I just...I'd given a lot of thought into making the world a better place by taking myself out.
I heaved a sigh, "Talking about my 'problems' isn't going to help me, Mom."
"Patrick Martin Stumph, you're going to this meeting and you're going to talk to them," She snapped, glaring at me out of the corner of her eyes, "You hear me?"
"Loud and clear, Mom," I grumbled, "Loud and clear..."
The remaining twelve minutes of the car ride were silent. It wasn't until we were in the local church's parking lot, stopped in front of the stairs that led to the back door, with a sign that read Meeting In Here and had a clip art picture of a coffee mug underneath it taped to one of its windows, that we spoke again. "Well?" My mom asked, reaching over the center console and grabbing the handle to the car door, pushing it out, "Go."
I shot a glare in her direction before unbuckling my seat belt and stepping out onto the asphalt that was covered in ice and snow. I turned around and slammed the car door shut, hoping to get the message that I was pissed across to my mom. I turned around and faced the church, trying to prepare myself for what was behind the closed door. I didn't know how my mom found out about this. We didn't even go to church, for crying out loud.
"Have fun!" My mother called out to me. I glanced back over my shoulder and noticed that she had rolled the window down.
"I'd rather stab myself in both eyes with icicles than go to this meeting," I growled.
"And that's why you're going," She retorted, winking at me before rolling the window back up and driving away.
I shook my head and walked up the steps, grasping the doorknob and turning it. The smell of instant coffee hit me the second I pushed the door in. I coughed as I entered the building, shutting the door behind me and kicking the snow off of my shoes. I took in a deep breath and shoved my hands into the pockets of my jacket, following the arrows that had been drawn on pieces of paper, much like the one outside, down the hallway, looking into a room where all the people attending this meeting were gathered.
A few of them were standing by the table where there were coffee and donuts. Others were sitting on chairs that had been placed in a circle in the center of the room. I didn't recognize a single face. Not that I expected I would.
"Hi!"
I jumped at the voice and turned my head to see an overly enthusiastic woman who appeared to be her forties standing beside me.
"You must be Patrick," She continued, sticking her hand out for a handshake. I reluctantly returned the gesture, "I'm Brenda. Your mom told you'd be coming today."
"Oh did she?" I muttered, not surprised the slightest bit.
"Yes. And we're so glad to have you here. We're a smaller group than others out there, so don't worry about getting your chance to talk."
"Oh I can't wait to talk. I've got so much to talk about," I replied sarcastically, though I don't think she understood that because she just smiled at me with wide eyes. I hadn't even gotten to know her, but I could already tell she was batshit crazy.
I told her I was going to sit down and she nodded her head frantically, inviting me to sit down in any seat I pleased, except for the one with the cat sitting in it - that was for Judy. I couldn't have gotten away from that conversation any faster.
I sat down in one of the chairs not reserved for Judy and heaved a sigh. I spotted the clock and measured how much time I had left. An hour and fifty-two minutes. I already knew that that hour and fifty-two minutes was going to be the longest hour and fifty-two minutes of my life.
Just then, someone sat down beside me. She appeared to be around my age, maybe a little younger, maybe a little older. I couldn't tell. She was wearing an oversized bubble jacket with a fur-rimmed hood. She had short, choppy, dark brown hair and thin black circles around her chocolate brown eyes. She looked almost as miserable as I did.
"Hey," I greeted. She glanced over at me. "I'm Patrick."
She stared at me for a little before turning away, and I meant her whole body, so that her back was to me. I rolled my eyes.
So much for trying to talk to people.
Shortly after, Brenda called everyone over to sit down. The chairs filled up quickly, and I counted that there were twelve people there besides me. They all looked as equally deranged as Brenda did, especially Judy who had taken the cat's place in her seat and now held the animal in her lap, stroking it softly and whispering things into its ear.
What kind of meeting did my mom make me go to?
"Alright, everyone, we have a new member here today," She began, looking over at me and smiling, "I'd like to introduce you all to-"
Before she could say my name, the door to the room that had been closed before the meeting began flew open and hit the wall behind it, startling everyone. I glanced over and saw a guy wearing an old, worn out sweatshirt with his hood up standing in the doorway. He had long black hair that swooped across his forehead and sunglasses over his eyes. He plucked the cigarette he had tucked in between his lips out and threw it to the side carelessly.
"Oh, Pete, you made it!" Brenda exclaimed happily, clapping.
He ripped his sunglasses off his face and locked eyes with me, pointing at me, "Who's this fucker?"
"I was just about to introduce him. Everyone, this is Patrick, give him a warm welcome!"
A pathetic round of applause filled the room as my cheeks grew a deep shade of red, wishing I could shrink into my jacket.
If only I had the one the girl next to me was wearing.
Pete stalked over to where I was sitting and plopped down in the open chair next to mine, draping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to him, "Hi, Patrick. I'm Pete. I can already tell you and I are going to good friends."
I swallowed hard, "G-G-Great."