Chapter 89.

                                    

                                          
The next day brings this grey dull morning light above New York City. I wake up in Niall's living-room on his uncomfortable couch. As I sit up I feel every inch of my body ache in pain from my terrible sleeping position and slight hangover. I pull the covers away from my body and sit up rethinking the events of last night. I really screwed up this time. I shouldn't have tried to make Louis jealous in the first place. Look what happened. I ended up actually kissing Anthony. Oh god, Louis saw it. He must have.
                          
I'm going to fix this. I don't care what it takes but I'm not risking losing Louis. Especially not at both of our vulnerable states of mind. I grab last night's clothes and get dressed. I don't like being in Niall's apartment to be honest. It's always extra messy and he snores like crazy. He's sleeping in his bedroom but I can still hear him snoring all the way from the living room. It's so loud.
                          
*I'll text you later. Thanks for letting me stay here. I just really need to go home and fix everything... H.*
                          
I write on a piece of paper and put it in the middle of Niall's coffee table. I feel a bit rude for leaving before even getting a chance to see him and thank him properly but I need to get home as soon as possible. I can't take it anymore. My foolish mistakes have kept me up almost all night. I barely got any sleep. I stayed up thinking about how much I hurt Louis and if he will be able to forgive me. But it was just a kiss... It didn't mean anything.
                          


                          


                          
During the entire taxi ride home I just stared out of the window and tried to come up with a nice speech. Something that would get him to forgive me but my mind was completely blank. What am I supposed to say? I at last decide to just go into our apartment and take whatever he has to say. Simply deal with it as I go along. Not the best decision I've ever made but I have no choice.
                          
I stand outside our front door and take a deep breath. I feel the heat inside my body and my heart beginning to beat loudly in my chest. Why did I decide to buy this bouquet of roses on my way over? Louis is NOT romantic so this is definitely not the right way to win him over. Oh well, I've already knocked on the door so there's no turning back now. I stand there swallowing my last piece of dignity before hearing slow steps approaching the door from the other side. I just close my eyes and pray to god that Liam's not still there. Last thing I need is for him to witness me being this desperate and needy and pathetic. I fucking brought flowers, okay? That's how whipped I am.
                          
"Harry?" I hear Louis' soft raspy voice question as he opens the door. I look up and meet his strong gaze. He looks so... breathtaking. His hair is all messy, his eyes are slightly red which causes his eye color to look even more blue. He's wearing one of my white t-shirts that is really big on him, exposing most of his chest. I feel my heart skip a beat as he looks at me with his soft puffy face.
                          
"I-I..." I begin and realize that I don't know how to start this at all. Louis looks at me confused as I finally clear my throat and hand him the bouquet. "These are for you."
                          
"You brought... roses?" He questions and tries his best not to sound condescending. I feel my cheeks flush as I nod shyly. He sighs and steps aside to let me in. I look around to check if Liam's around or not. Seems like he's left already, but he definitely spent the night. I can tell by the mattress on the floor. Silence fills the apartment as Louis closes the door after me and puts the roses on the table instead of in a vase. 
                          
"Louis I-"
                          
"Harry I-"
                          
We both begin in the mouth of each other. We both chuckle and I then allow Louis to continue what he had to say first, because to be honest I have no idea where I was going with my sentence. So better just hear him out first. I sit down on the couch in the living room and Louis joins me.
                          
"I wasn't being myself last night. I honestly feel so bad for punching Anthony. I mean, you two were just in the car together... You didn't even kiss or anything so I didn't have the right to react like I did..." He says and I choke. He didn't see the kiss. He doesn't know that we kissed. Should I tell him? Oh god what do I do? He will flip out if I tell him now. "You didn't kiss him, right?"
                          
I shake my head.
                          
"No. Of course not" I lie. As soon as the words leave my mouth I regret saying it. There's no turning back now. I've already lied. Fuck fuck fuck. Louis looks at me with a relieved fond look. He grabs my face and kisses me slowly. He pulls me in for a hug and I immediately feel the guilt beginning to kick in.
                          
"I'm so sorry for not trusting you.  I just love you so much, I get overprotective sometimes." He says and kisses me passionately. This is wrong. This is so wrong. But I just can't risk anything right now. I'll just wait for a perfectly good moment and I'll tell him. But not right now. Not today.